I just looked back at my last few blog posts...and I realized a few things.
1. There was a lot of 'woe is me'
2. I guess I'm pretty dramatic...
3. Sharing my heart - even the doldrums - comes easy
4. Some of you care
5. Some of you don't
6. Some of you may feel that my ego drives this (I get *MAYBE* one hit a day to my blog so I ASSURE you, my ego is not involved)
7. Some of you feel a myriad of things that didn't make the top 6 list here... and that's ok. I"m all about understanding what your feelings are.
Truth be told, I use this blog as a place to share hopes and encouragement...and discouragements and frustrations. I realize I'm in a season of discouragement and frustration - but don't mistake my heartache on these pages as the attitude I carry with me every second of every day.
On any given day, if you saw me, you'd see a smile. It's not fake, it's real as they come. You will also hear laughter. It's not fake, it's real as it comes. You will see and hear encouragement to others, my faith in God, and my hope that the victory will ultimately glorify Him - even if I don't win the fight that I bet on winning.
What I'm trying to say is that I know the blog has been 'heavy' lately - and I'm sorry...but sometimes these words to the (web)page help me sort things out. I view this blog as a photographer would their pictures...There is a moment in time I need to 'capture' and by using my own words, I transfer the 'moment' from my heart and to a 'photograph'... this photograph reminds me that in that moment, in that memory, I was feeling or thinking a certain way. I can file that picture away and come back to it any time I want. I can learn from it, study it, but try as I might, I will never be able to re-create that exact same moment.. which is why it's important (to me) to get it down. I am not interested in repeating the same thing over and over (and expecting different results ... which according to my dear, dear friend is the definition of insanity)
So, until the next wave of inspiration strikes, I leave you with a smile and forward progress to whatever is next.