Phoenix Arising

Have you ever talked to someone and found out that they are encouraged by you just as much as you are encouraged by them? Have you ever talked to someone and found out that as much as they inspire you, you inspire them? Have you ever talked to someone and found out that they think of you just as highly as you think of them?  Have you?

There are a few people in my life that I look up to in a BIG way. People who have helped me and supported me as I journeyed to where I am today. People who have picked me up from the muck and mire and placed me on a firm rock to stand. People who believe in me even when I didn't believe in myself. There are no words on this earth to help those people understand how thankful I am for everything they have done and every sacrifice they have made for me. No words.

For the first time in my career, I have entered into the territory of mutual admiration...and I need to write about it. It's new..it's slightly uncomfortable..but it's marvelous.

For those of you who don't know, I love what I do for work. It is one of the most fulfilling things for me...to be able to help in any way possible. I recently had a conversation with a coworker about my desire to help (among many other things) and I felt, in my heart of hearts, that this conversation was a pivot point for me - and I can't explain exactly why. Perhaps its because it was unguarded, sincere, and honest? Perhaps because we had an honest exchange of hearts as we talked about some sticky stuff? As crazy as this sounds, the conversation sort of made me feel like a phoenix rising. I had to burn in the ash in order to be renewed. And renewed I was.

Today, I had the opportunity to speak to this very same coworker.  When we speak, she speaks with such approval for me - the same type of approval as I have for her. I hear it. It makes me feel wonder and marvel at the thought that as much respect and appreciation I have for her, she might have for me. It validates that I have made the right decisions thus far professionally and personally. I hear rusty hinges falling off old, cobwebbed doors in my heart because hope is promising to push through if I let it.

And while I realize that I have SO much growth that needs to happen between now and where I'm going, I now see that there are TRULY people who want to better other people. There are TRULY people who see the best in you and, without trying, GET the very best FROM you. This kind of thing boggles my mind. I always think that no one will think of me as highly as I think of them - that its some sort of impossibility. But there was a moment today (and still now) that I believe in my heart that it's possible. And while words fade quickly, the feelings that come with the words don't fade as fast. I'm grateful for this, and I'm holding on to them as tightly as I can.