Monday, March 12, 2012

A Beacon

In the middle of the spotted sleep I tend to get every night, I am often inspired. Random thoughts here, random thoughts there...but rarely am I ever driven to actually get up (at 2:30 a.m.) and write it down...Last night I was, but I didn't get up. As a result, I could not sleep a WINK because I was overwhelmed with a vision...and the feeling that I needed to write this out has not left me all I'm heeding to the 'call' to get this on 'paper'... Follow me.

Here is what I remember:

It was night time - the pitch black kind. No stars in the sky. The wind was as relentless as my worry. I was waiting - watching - unsure for whom or what. I can't remember if it was raining or if what I felt was a spray from the stormy sea. There was a HUGE cliff to the left of me, it's jagged silhouette murderously cutting the waves; being sure to assert it's dominance over the fierceness of the ocean. I stood on wet sand - it was firm beneath my feet. The shells showed no mercy as the wind had her way with them. I was cold, and full of anticipation. I remember the angry smell of the ocean - turned inside out and upside down; as unsettled as my thoughts. I was completely alone. No car behind me. No people beside me. Alone.

Luckily enough, there was a lighthouse built on rock right in front of me. The stack of rocks that it was built on was high enough that not even the acerbic waves could reach it. I found myself concentrating in the dark to see if I could tell if the beacon was moving.

As though my thoughts themselves were pushing the light around in the lantern room, I felt assured that the beacon would find me soon - even though my impatience caused time to slow to a snails pace. I thought about pacing the short shoreline because I thought that perhaps if I moved, time would also...but I was firmly planted. I remember clasping my hands together and holding tight to the hope I knew was coming.

In the way that only 'dreams' can, the next part happened in slow-motion, fast-forward. The beacon light was getting ready to pass 1:00 when suddenly it started to move faster and faster like it had gained momentum because it was heading down hill. As it passed through the pitch black, I saw people. Some of the people were crowded together, others were individually placed, ALL of them I knew.

I remember being able to know each one by name - even the ones in the crowd. I saw people I love now, people I've loved before, and people who have left me and moved to the place where Love has been fully revealed to them. I felt SO comforted by this...I knew that even though it seemed I was alone all along, I truly wasn't. I had these people who were WITH me, who were and ARE a part of me, who have become a piece of the fabric that has stitched up my quilted heart. The flood of hope that this brought my soul was indescribable. To know that a little light could reveal a changeable truth.

When the beacon rounded the next corner, it stopped on me. My logical mind felt as though I had to shade my eyes because a light that can steer a ship into safe harbor would most certainly NOT be a light that my mortal eyes could see. But I was wrong. This light was beauty - it was all colors and none. It was a symphony with a resounding chorus, and a moment in the back of a church where a widow mourns in silence. It was my past, my present, and my future. As this light rested on me, I felt possibility, peace, and immeasurable gratitude.

When I 'awoke,' I remembered a scripture: Isaiah 42:6-7 " I, the LORD, have called you to demonstrate my righteousness. I will guard and support you, for I have given you to my people as the personal confirmation of my covenant with them. And you will be a light to guide all nations to me. You will open the eyes of the blind and free the captives from prison. You will release those who sit in dark dungeons." It dawned on me - this vision I had was a LITERAL interpretation of this scripture!!!

I stood in the spot I was placed. I stood in waiting. And my 'awake' self would have been scared to even be where I was in my 'vision,' but my unconscious self stood there, guarded and supported by the people who were there, but who were not revealed to me until I was ready to flee. These people - my friends and family - were a personal confirmation of love and support in a dark and anxious time. Then the light came and it WAS the light that guides the nations --> the nation was the league of friends and family that were there. I know, I know...this all sounds crazy...and I wish that I were better at explaining this part... but I know that I know that I know that this came NOW for a reason...although I am unsure what the reason is at this very moment...

If you've read this far, you deserve a round of applause!!! Thank you ... and for my faithful friends (old and new!) and family, thank you for everything.

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