Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Won Me Over

Sometimes... well, more often than not really... I connect with songs - and I know I'm not the only one. If you're like me, our response is primal - it seems stitched and sewn into each pore. It resounds in our hearts like the echoing sounds of a gong - sailing soundlessly across space and fading, yet always leaving a memory behind. For me - and for some of you I'm sure - it's not just the melody that surrounds us, but also the words that melt their way into the mold of the music. The brilliance of the lyricist brings the magic of the composer to life - and a perfect and inspirational piece of art is formed.

I tend to understand and process things through music. Music is my memories. Music is my very present help. Music is validation that I'm headed in the right direction or way off the path. Music, my friends, is due north on my compass.

As I face trials, and we ALL do, I use music as an escape. I allow my mind reprieve by focusing only on the words and often times tuning out the words and letting the melody become a part of the moment. On this particular day, in this particular moment, Franklin (my iPod touch) decided to put on a song that was full of joy even though, in this particular moment, my heart was not. But since I was too lazy to switch the song, I decided to focus on the lyrics. Lyrics I've listened to a thousand times...yet they proved to be lyrics I've never HEARD. They went a little something like this:

"Was on the run, a road that I ruined,
chasing a lie I thought I believed in
Don't know why I do what I do"
~Audrey Assad, Won Me Over

OHHH friends... to be cliche, it hit me like a ton of bricks! But instead of making this specifically about me, I think we can all relate.

How many times have you been on a path - one that you stay on because it's easier than turning back and facing what you left. One that you stay on because the road is too crumbly and destructed to be able to weather the journey back - and besides? who wants to return to what you were running from? It's easier to run - although its WAY more self destructive to run. Does it ever solve anything? Not permanently...Is it worth it? Well, you believe that at first, but eventually you see the light. It's easy to do what feels 'normal,' but much harder to do what feels right.

How many times do we make decisions based on feelings alone? And when we do, and we realize that it was the wrong one or there was a  better or more fulfilling one - how does that make us feel. How does it feel when something you USED to believe in suddenly becomes foreign to you and feels more and more wrong and uncomfortable every day?

 Friends, I don't have the answer for all of you - but I can tell you that my answer for myself is you change it. You walk arm in arm with God and as you hold the lamp at your feet, you trust Him to guide every single step. You lean on the Word and press in to prayer. You look back at the crumbly road and see it for what it is - decaying, old, deteriorated, defeated - and you accept the fact that roads built on chasing lies are not meant to withstand the elements. You simply look ahead or side to side and find the next road - the next path that God wants for you. He will reveal the way to go - but only if you trust Him one step at a time.

I choose trust. I choose faith. I choose hope. . . and Jesus? I choose You. I choose Your Word above mine, Your will above mine, Your leading above mine, Your steps in front of mine, Your power above my self, Your promises above my weak heart, and Your faithfulness above my inability to understand. I encourage you all to do the same.

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