tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85765363539007539172024-03-08T18:29:21.644-05:00Pruned Branches"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful" John 15:1-2Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-1357617610529379612016-01-11T14:10:00.001-05:002016-01-11T14:10:26.480-05:00Press(ed) <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Press(ed) Verb.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>1. To <u>move</u> by applying pressure</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>2. To <u>extract </u>by squeezing or compressing</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So... if I could give you a word that has described my 2016 so far, this would be it. Pressed. The definition of it (per Webster) is above. To be moved by applying pressure. To extract by squeezing or compressing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During worship yesterday, I felt pressed from above. It took all my willpower NOT to just kneel down and weep. Pressed. Moved by applying pressure. It was STRONG. I imagine if I wasn't wearing a dress, I would have definitely done it. Pressed. Squeezed or compressed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After worship, I couldn't get it out of my mind. The feeling. The desire to bow down low to the Worthy One. Pressed. There was a purpose for that being my main feeling yesterday. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SUDDENLY, a light went off. God revealed so much to me in a short amount of time. Its taken me overnight to process it and be able to turn it into words. There are TWO things ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I think of the word press, I automatically think of a wine press. Perhaps this is my upbringing OR the fact that my husband makes wine - but I think of a wine press nonetheless. The concept is that you put the grapes into this bucket and then press on them. What you WANT comes out - the juice. What you DONT want stays in - the skin, seeds and pulp. In order to create something different than the grapes (wine), the pressing needs to happen so that what is useful and needed can be produced. Press. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I suppose its the same in our lives, no? SO MANY people feel pressed. Pressured to be someone they aren't. Pressured to be perfect. Pressured to keep up with everyone and everything. Financial pressure... SO MUCH pressing in every day life. While uncomfortable and painful, it seems as though it is necessary in order to get something out of it. The grapes need to be pressed to produce juice. Same goes for us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are changes in my life at the moment. Ones that require me to keep my eyes FIXED ON the One who knows all things. He has ordered my steps, He has proven to me that it is the appointed time... but I feel pressed. I'm in the wine press. The stuff I don't need is being left behind and what I DO need is being produced. It's painful - but I understand its necessity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I was processing this pressing feeling, a scripture was brought to mind. Mark 2:22 says - "And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins." It all made perfect sense to me. When God changes things, He works all things for GOOD. He won't put old wine into new wineskins. He makes all things new. In this upcoming change, what is being pressed out of me will be put into new wineskins. New wineskins are tough and strong; they can handle the process of changing the grapes to wine (fermenting). I am fermenting as we speak haha! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God was so good to bring this to mind... It has brought me acceptance of a situation I was fighting. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">TWO: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remember a few posts back I told you about the word of knowledge that Pastor Eric from Bethel spoke? Here is the excerpt: </span><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 17.6px; line-height: 24.64px;">"the time of darkness and depression is coming to an end. He said we are a diamond, and we've been hidden in a cave. What we used to only see from afar, we will now see up close. As the diamond is taken from the darkness into the light, it will shine and the rays will reach impossible lengths because of the Son. We are going to be propelled to places beyond our current reach."</span><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 17.6px; line-height: 24.64px;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well. I've been thinking. About the word pressed. I have also been thinking about this word of knowledge. And you know what? I have made yet another connection to this word. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See that word in there? Diamond? Guess how diamonds are formed? .............................................................................................................................................................................UNDER PRESSURE WITH A LOT OF HEAT. You see? a piece of carbon is under the surface of the Earth and under immense pressure. It is heated with magma. It stays there and then small eruptions eventually get it to the surface where it is mined. And out of this piece of black mineral comes a beautiful, never duplicated or replicated gem. Pressed. Without heat and without pressure, it would never be formed. Without heat and without pressure, we would never come to the surface and shine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So here I am, floored at the wine press analogy, when God throws in there the word of knowledge from Bethel ... and then i am UNDONE with the whole thing. It continuously amazes me that the God of the COSMOS would be so attentive to ME (and you). It continuously amazes me how scripture can apply to ANY situation. How even the negative things (feeling pressed and under pressure) can have a positive end result. In a way, turning negative into positive is a fulfillment of His promise to 'turn our mourning into dancing.' And so today, under immense pressure, amidst small eruptions, I choose to dance. </span>Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-27093466585923632472015-12-29T14:29:00.000-05:002015-12-29T14:29:00.989-05:00what was and what is coming<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The prospect of a New Year has always been something that causes me a wee bit of anxiety. There is something about it - the finality of an ending, the newness of space and time FULL of the unknown. I feel like I'm torn between two concepts - what WAS and what is COMING. I feel like I'm forced to move on to the new year and maybe I'm not really READY. True, I've had 364 days to prepare myself... but even then its sometimes not enough.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I try not to spend a lot of time in <b>what was</b> for fear of losing myself in that space. The comparison I end up creating makes me feel insufficient and unworthy. The thoughts that say 'remember when...' creep in and suddenly I can't see any good and perfect thing that has come from it. I can only see lack. And usually, its an abundance of lack. And though lack is NOT my reality, it seems to be the place I get stuck in.. and usually I believe it even when I KNOW not to. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I try not to spend a lot of time in what is<b> to come</b> for fear of the cyclical thinking of making a decision and wondering if it is REALLY going to be the right one? And what if its not right? How can we recover? Will it cost us time? Money? <b><i><u>Will be we spending emotions that we can't afford?</u></i></b> Are we ready to take on what is coming? What are the risks? What are the rewards? Are we hearing Him right? What if we aren't? Will we be OK? ... OVER and OVER and OVER again...<!-----></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The concept of the New Year forces me into thinking about these things. About what has passed and what is coming. This goes against my current philosophy of 'just do today.' Just pay today's bills. Just deal with today's emotions. Just handle today's problems. Today. Only today. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I find that the New Year also forces the idea of resolutions. WHY? This concept makes me crazy. WHY should I force myself to do something that I didn't want to do the previous year? Why should I HAVE to join a gym on January 1st because society says I'm morbidly obese and that is the only way I'll ever 'fix' myself? Why should I HAVE to resolve to be more kind or less of a door mat - shouldn't I be taking inventory of these things as the year goes along and just deal with them then? I've heard it said that 'my resolution is to not have a resolution' and as cliche as it sounds, I agree with that. January 1st shouldn't dictate a 'new you'... YOU should be evolving as the year goes and as you approach January 1st, then you should be just a little different than you were at the previous one. If this is true, then you're BETTER and it wasn't from your own resolve, it was from your experiences and the life you ACTUALLY lived throughout the year. #rantover (I wasn't planning on writing about that, but I guess I had to get it out.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">2015 was a crazy and unforgettable year. I call it the year of the lost and the found. It was a year that I lost who I was, but actually found that who I am is MUCH better than I thought. It was a year that tested relationships, grew and lost friendships. It was a year that reminded me that I have an AMAZING husband who loves me for ME and who trusts what I hear from God as though he heard it himself. A year that ripped me up, tore me to pieces, and then began the process of taping me back together. A year that I took the BIGGEST leap of my life and found myself nestled safe in God's plan for my family. And though every single day I wonder how long it will last, I KNOW that it was right. And necessary. And the single most courageous thing we have EVER done as a family. The year of the lost and the found. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And so as I leave behind a year of MUCH change, I find that I'm not prepared for what's ahead. I feel like I'm standing at the top of a mountain. The view is nice here. Actually, its the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The broken branches, the muddy slopes, the dirt smeared lines across our faces - all symbolic of the treacherous, unpaved road we walked. It's because of that I find our family in a place of beauty - even IF battered, we are STILL victorious. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Logistically, when you're on the top of a mountain, you have to go down the other side if you want to forge ahead. You have to go from mountaintop to valley and then back up again. Sometimes? there isn't a trail to walk down and we find that we have to carve our own way. No two family would take the same road. We have to play to our strengths and minimize our weakness...but most of all we HAVE to trust that each step will bring us closer to God's perfect plan for our family. And so hand in hand, with provisions enough for just the day ahead, we test our footing and get ready to step. We press in to what SURELY will be our 2016 verse: <i><b>Isaiah 42:16 - I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them"</b></i> (I find it uncanny that the verse number is what it is...but God is ever surprising and ever resourceful and EVER eager to let it be known that He is unequivocally in charge of even the smallest detail of our lives.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And so I find myself torn between what was and what is coming. I am teetering between embrace and avoidance; disapproval and pressing in; keeping and letting go. I can't say for certain that January 1st will be the day that I tip towards one side or the other...but I will say it won't last. At some point I'll realize that I have gone from one side to the other, naturally, and part of the way the year goes. Until then, I will take each day as it comes and do my best NOT to be torn between what was and what is coming. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Proverbs 4:18 - The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. </i></span><br />
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<br />Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-83955707432070161172015-11-08T14:03:00.000-05:002015-11-08T14:01:16.592-05:00Part 3 - The Song and the Prophesy<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In case you missed them and need to catch up: <a href="http://prunedbranches.blogspot.com/2015/11/bethel-part-1-drive-and-meeting.html" target="_blank">Part 1</a> and <a href="http://prunedbranches.blogspot.com/2015/11/part-2-dream-point-wisdom-and-experience.html" target="_blank">Part 2</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As you can imagine, at this point I'm just about undone. We have NOT EVEN BEEN TO THE WORSHIP NIGHT YET and I'm beside myself entirely. We left the breakout and I couldn't even really form the words that were in my heart. It was like I could ONLY communicate in emotion as the human language could not contain nor understand my feelings at all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">On our way to dinner, we didn't really say much. What could we say? Disbelief was the predominant feeling. We reached for normal - such as, what do we have on our pizza? Lemonade, or soda? Are we getting dessert? We called our families and checked in. We 'stole' electricity to charge our phones - well, we ALL didn't do that, but one of us did :) We reached, but we feel a little short. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">On the walk back, I said that the one thing that would tip me over would be if someone were to prophesy over me at some point this evening. I remember laughing at how greedy that sounded - the first half of the night was so incredible that even IF it didn't happen, it wouldn't have tainted my experience. Little did I know that my desire WAS something that God had put in my heart and WAS something that He had for me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As we were walking back in to the venue, I was getting a little overwhelmed. I LOATHE crowds - especially gigantic auditoriums full of strangers - and so I jokingly said to one of my friends that I really hope we can find 3 seats together - and maybe on the end so we don't have to be next to people. We walk in, and what do we see? A FLOOR, SIDE SEATING section with ONLY 3 CHAIRS THERE. Meaning, we each get one. Meaning... NO ONE else would be sitting WITH us. I could have cried. I swear the angels all gave a resounding hallelujah and pointed us directly to those seats. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So we sat. We chatted. I freaked out at how pumped I was. We took selfies and posted on Instagram - as any normal person would haha! We talked some more. As we sat, soaking it all in, I turned to my friend and said - I really think they are going to play the song Closer (it holds a special place in my heart - but that's another blogpost for another time). She smiled her beaming, beautiful smile and said that she hopes they do (for me, of course - because she's amazing like that). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Remember my #fangirl worship leader? Well, she couldn't sing that night. I was B U M M E D O U T but I couldn't really be mad after all that had happened already. So the team comes out and propels us right into heaven. Being a pourer-outer of worship, it felt weird to be on the receiving end (live and in person with a band. I personally lead myself in worship OR listen to Bethel or other worship teams online). At one point, I felt FULL of JOY! I mean - the kind that radiates from your heart - I felt like it could possibly look like a Care Bear when they do a Care Bear stare (google it if you don't know... shame on you if you don't haha!). I mean - the dazzling, leaping, shining, reaching, cascading joy. Never have I felt anything like it. Ever. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I remember at one point having a vision of people returning to churches in droves. Crowding at the doors on a Sunday morning - much like we did to get into the venue to see this concert. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I remember at one point praying these prayers that I didn't know were in my heart. Out loud. I feel like I was yelling them pretty loudly, but my friends say they couldn't hear a thing. I have never EVER felt so sure that my prayers were being heard. Sometimes we pray and we wonder... this night I prayed and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my God heard me...I could feel that He is our faithful Father, our constant friend; He is closer than our breath and despite the fact that He made the UNIVERSE, He still knows me. And You. I've had encounters with God before... but this one wrecked me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We worshiped our way to 'half time.' The lights came on for a little while. I was really anxious to get started on the second half considering what happened in the first. The girls were good though - keeping me busy during the brief intermission. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The lights dimmed. The songs began. I got right back in to the throne room of heaven. I knew this was it, so I threw my WHOLE self into it. It was near the end when I heard the piano begin. I threw my hands up and turned to my friend next to me - and I said - THIS IS IT!! That song? That song 'Closer' that I was waiting for? They were starting it. And I was beside myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As the leader sang out the first line of the song, I settled in and decided I wasn't going to sing this one, I was going to just let it wash over me. As I surrendered to it, I felt what I KNEW was a man's hand touch the top of my head. As SOON as it happened, I felt the surge of the Holy Spirit run through the tip of my toes. I slowly lowered my arms down and turned to look. It was him - the worship Pastor from earlier. The one who was pointing at me without knowing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Here I am. In Portland, Maine. In a crowd of about a thousand. In an auditorium. In the dark. During a song that I knew in my Spirit was going to be played - and at that moment realized that it was going to be the trigger to hearing the prophesy that I knew was coming all along. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I looked at him. He introduced himself to me. I smiled, nodded, and inclined my heart and ear. Before I tell you what he said, I have to tell you this: after he introduced himself to me, he got a perplexed look on his face. He said 'have we already come to you?' and I said no. THAT was the confirmation I needed that what was about to be said was DEFINITELY for me. He felt like he had already done this - well, he hadn't, BUT it certainly WAS a divine appointment because my Spirit knew that someone would be coming. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It is a very VERY powerful and moving experience. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Before I tell you what he said, I will tell you THIS - there is absolutely, positively NO WAY that anyone could have made this up by just looking at me. Not possible. He just didn't come up to some random person and say some random thing that made no sense. NOPE. He came up to a random person, and said some specific things that made TOO MUCH sense. NO ONE could have guessed these things. Not without God's help and guidance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Some of this is quoted, some of this is paraphrased - but here it is: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In a firm and sure voice, he said "I see You. God wants you to know that He sees you, but He also wants you to know that I (insert his name here) See. You. I do. You are SEEN. You are free from being behind. You are freed up from the back and you're being pushed to the front. There are people who you hold in esteem above you - and that holds you back - but that is BROKEN TODAY. That is NO MORE. NO. MORE (caps indicate intensity and urgency). You are seen. People SEE YOU - and I want them to. Its time to come out of the shadows - ALL of them - and move to the front. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And then he walked away. And then I COMPLETELY LOST IT. With shoulder shaking sobs, I collapsed in my seat. I couldn't believe that had just happened. I couldn't believe what he said. I still don't. I processed for a minute, and then took out my notebook and dumped all those words on a page so I wouldn't forget. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />I gathered myself back together just in time for the song to be over. Honestly though? I'm not upset about that. I realize now it wasn't the SONG that I needed to hear. The song was the catalyst for the word. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So - I am FASCINATED by the idea that God is El Roi - the God who sees me. I've even blogged about it before (find it<a href="http://prunedbranches.blogspot.com/2013/04/wherever-i-go-you-find-me.html" target="_blank"> here</a>) .. That the lead in would be "I see you" is incredible. Another fun fact: When this pastor introduced himself to the breakout group earlier in the day, he said 'you guys all need to know me because I will be hanging around today. I am ____ and I do ___.' I believe he mentioned music production. I gave a quick chuckle and turned to my friend and said - I think I DO need to know him since being a published artist is on my bucket list. And then for him to follow the I see you from God with an I, Pastor ____ see you made me wonder ... I hope that doesn't come across as me thinking I have a 'network' with him - or even a chance of ever meeting/seeing him again - BUT it did make me think...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I struggle with confidence issues. I know a lot of people do, so I'll spare you the details - but it is a definite struggle for me. I am sure some of you who know me just said 'no she doesn't'... but trust me when I tell you I do. I just make the conscious decision every day to push through them. Some days are easier than others. Because of this, I am VERY MUCH content to be in the background. I don't need center stage. And here he is, telling me that I am seen. People see me and I can't hide anymore. Bummer haha! But as much as that scares me, it also gives me a great sense of wonder at what God would want to do with me when I'm not 'hidden.' </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This one thing though - the one about the people I hold in esteem and because of that I am being held back. THAT is what broke me. There are a select few who know this (more now, obviously haha!) - but there are a select few who KNOW that this inferiority is a VERY real issue that I have - but only with certain people. And he was SO RIGHT that it holds me back because I fear rejection from them... And that he would say those chains are broken? I never thought it possible........................................................................................................................I'm here to tell you, it WAS possible. Because for the first time in my life, the people I hold in this esteem no longer have that stronghold of authority over me. Let me be clear here - these people have NO CLUE of their position in my life - meaning - they have NO CLUE that I struggled with that. These are people I love to the ends of the earth and for some reason, I put them on a pedestal that I thought would always be too high for me to reach. And I can see CLEARLY now that the esteem actually held me back. It smothered me. It made me believe things that were NOT TRUE. It was broken that day. I am free from it. And I am SO grateful for a God who sees me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The rest of our night was pretty uneventful - I mean, WHAT could possibly compare to what had already happened? My girls were in shock with me. I couldn't sleep. The tv at the hotel was TERRIBLE so I couldn't even use that to take my mind off of what happened. I ended up spending the night reliving every single event that happened. I ended up spending the night in awe of our Father who knows our every want and desire - and who meets us right where we are. The whole experience was such an incredible blessing. I can't imagine God outdoing that one. Even if I never have another day like that day, it was powerful enough that I would be ok with that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">That day changed my life. Forever. Since then, I have taken more chances. I have written more spontaneous songs. I have pursued Jesus harder. I have spent more time in worship and prayer. I have leaned IN to my calling instead of bending away from it - and He has blessed that over and over again. I have cemented the reality that there IS a God and He is all knowing, all powerful, and all seeing. I pray that one day, you can have an encounter that does the same for you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-41049436905231814622015-11-07T21:47:00.004-05:002015-11-07T21:47:54.967-05:00Part 2 - The Dream, The Point, The Wisdom, and The Experience<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* In case you missed yesterday's Part 1 post, <a href="http://prunedbranches.blogspot.com/2015/11/bethel-part-1-drive-and-meeting.html" target="_blank">Click Here</a> to get acquainted *</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I pretty much floated in to the venue after what had just happened. I honestly could have gone home and been ok with that. We picked up our tickets at will call and headed in to the breakout session. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The breakout session was a small group - MAYBE 60 people - and the worship team. We had an AMAZING time of acoustic worship where we sang some of my favorite songs and where I found myself praying fervently that ANY walls around my heart would come down so that I could really immerse myself in what was going to happen. I could feel something stirring in my Spirit even then. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to jump back for a second though - Before the girls and I left in the morning, we stopped for breakfast. At breakfast, I told them about this crazy and VERY real and VERY weird and VERY scary dream I had a few nights before. I am a 'dreamer' - I dream as though its real life. I dream vividly. I dream in color and I dream with emotions. This particular dream, however, was a new kind of experience - too wonky to really get in to via a blog post, BUT, I had to tell them because I felt like I did... and I honestly needed to talk it out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are at the breakout, we have AMAZING worship, and then the team files in and has a seat. We open with prayer and the questions began to trickle in. Remember my #fangirl worship leader? WELL. At one point, someone had asked her a question and she started talking about a prophetic dream that she had and then she stopped dead in her tracks and said - We need to pray against dreams that are from the enemy - and she prayed this MIGHTY prayer that really came up against those kinds of dreams. Coincidence? I think not. Not for ONE second. She could have been praying for ANYthing. There were MANY needs in that room. And yet she prays for the dreamers? I just can't even handle it. I looked at the girls, they looked at me and we could only muster a small shake of our heads. We knew. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the breakout with the worship team, the Bethel worship Pastor came out and began to talk to us. He had a word of knowledge as he was speaking, so he stopped to share. At first, he asked if there was a Maria there - and there was a couple. He also handpicked a couple of other people from the group. As they stood, he was talking to them. As he was talking to them, he began to point. At me. He wasn't looking at me. Not once. Not ever. But I would move, his finger would follow me. Side to side or staying still - it didn't matter. We couldn't believe it. I remember looking at one friend and giving the 'are you seeing what I'm seeing' look - and she gave it RIGHT back. I'll bet you're wondering what he said. Well.. He said that "the time of darkness and depression is coming to an end. He said we are a diamond, and we've been hidden in a cave. What we used to only see from afar, we will now see up close. As the diamond is taken from the darkness into the light, it will shine and the rays will reach impossible lengths because of the Son. We are going to be propelled to places beyond our current reach." This is not an EXACT quote of what he said, but its pretty close. And again - ALL THE WHILE that he is saying this and looking at the people standing, he is pointing to me. Unknowingly, I am 100% sure. The FUNNIER part? The part that really showcases God's sense of humor? For the past couple of years, my brother has nicknamed me "Maria" (said with a Portuguese accent)... And so, it doesn't REALLY strike me as THAT odd that he was pointing. Additionally, this word was VERY VERY timely for me. I'm waiting on the second half of it, but I have seen glimpses of stronger light lately. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the word, I was honestly a little overwhelmed. My heart was racing, my mind was racing - I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time - it was a large conflict of emotions. As he moved into his preaching, I thought that I would have to emotionally "check out" as they say to preserve the rest of my sanity, but about 2 minutes in, I KNEW I needed to hear this message. While I can't steal all his thunder, here is my takeaway: Picture a stage in your mind. Now, I love a good visualization - so here is mine: My floor is beautifully marked and scuffed wood that shines in some places, and not in others. It's slightly higher than most stages, and there are three ways up - two side staircases and one center one that gets wider as the steps get closer to the top. The curtain in the back is deep, deep black - the kind of black that you aren't even sure you can see. The side curtains are a vibrant red, they are velour; they are heavy. The tiebacks are sturdy and strong. The curtains, though old, are in great shape - they hang perfectly like my favorite dress would. On that stage, for this particular scene, there is a box that creates a stair and another platform. On top of that platform are 3 chairs, side by each. The chairs have a rounded back and a wide seating area. They are old and faded burgundy. The wood is smooth and still rich in both color and scent. There are tarnished studs holding the cushions together. In front of these chairs is one spotlight. It sits in the center - so it shines on the center seat, but the corners of the light overflows on to the seats on the side. I am the only one in this audience that can see this stage. I sit middle row, middle seat, middle section. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So he tells us to picture a stage in our mind. On that stage is 3 chairs. Each one of those chairs represents one of three ways we respond to any situation - fear, pride, and from the position of our identity and calling in Christ. DURING this preaching, I got a text message from the worship leader that was supposed to lead on Sunday. He had an emergency and had to go out of state to handle it. This meant I had to lead - this is an important part of the story that I will resurrect in a little bit. Anyway - so you will always respond to a situation with fear, pride or identity. He said that we need to ALWAYS position ourselves in the identity/calling seat. So, when we feel fear, we need to visualize getting up OFF the fear seat, walking over and sitting in the seat of our identity/calling. Same goes for pride. The goal is to consistently find ourselves sitting in the identity/calling seat at any given time. He said that if we commit to doing this, then we will only grow closer to the Lord. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SO - lots more happened that night, but I'm saving that (the best!) for part 3. Maybe tomorrow :) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HOWEVER, before I end this, I have to fast forward you to that Sunday where I had to unexpectedly lead worship. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Worship leading... oh worship leading... UP until this point, it was ALWAYS an act of obedience. I can't recall if I ever wrote about how worship leading all came about, but let's just say that I call it my 'accidental gift.' The one I never even knew I had. TO THIS DAY (3 years in to it..) I STILL get unbelievably nervous before I lead. Upset stomach, the flight response in full effect. Good thing I have an AMAZING and supportive team. Anyway - this particular Sunday found me leading from the piano and with a drummer who is really a backup vocalist/saxophone player so it was not the usual set up. I was SOSTINKINNERVOUS - honestly. I got there early, we were warming up and I could feel myself sinking into my fear. What if I blew it? What if church couldn't connect because I was doing so badly? I'm just not good enough to do this today... And then I remembered the preaching. I took a minute, closed my eyes, envisioned myself getting up from the fear seat and sitting in that middle seat - the seat of my CALLING and the seat of my IDENTITY in Christ. I opened my eyes and decided that I would lean in to my Jesus instead of my flesh and the WHOLE atmosphere changed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was in that moment that I truly believed - for the FIRST time - that God gave me (literally - gave/gifted me a talent i didn't previously have) the ability to lead worship. He gave me the ability to share my heart through a melody. He gave me the desire to connect with people in a song so that we can go straight to His heart and rest there. And so from that seat of my calling and my identity, I decided to give God back the gift HE gave me and surrender completely to it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Instead of a half-hearted attempt at leading that day, worship THUNDERED forth. It burst forth - like the spring time at its peak. I felt the shift. My team even felt the shift. I believe church felt the shift - it felt like we were finally moving forward and pressing on. Remember that vocalist/saxophone player who is also a pinch hit drummer? He dubbed this "the Bethel Effect." And you know what? It fits. </span>Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-58241148004190931592015-11-06T23:51:00.000-05:002015-11-06T23:51:34.673-05:00Bethel - Part 1 - The Drive and The Meeting<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Consider this fair warning. I have a LOT to say. A LOOOOOOTTTTT. If I had to guess, this will probably be the LONGEST blogpost I've ever written. I actually may put it in parts/separate blog posts - THAT is how much I have to say. Because what I'm about to write about doesn't even seem like it could have possibly happened. Even now, 2 months removed from it, I STILL look back and absolutely CAN. NOT. BELIEVE. IT. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It all began on the day I found out that the Bethel Church worship team was coming to the Northeast. I had actually put a trip to Bethel on my bucket list (it's still there!), but this was a way that I could satiate my appetite to worship with them in the meantime. When I purchased the tickets, I just KNEW that something big was going to happen. Didn't know to whom, but I KNEW KNEW that it would be something that none of us would forget. Before I forget though - I went to this concert with two of my dear friends - and thank GOD because they can vouch that every single word I am typing here is the truth! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My dear, sweet friends dubbed me #fangirl for the day (well, honestly for the weeks before) because of the way I would spill over excitement and expectation when anyone even started saying ANYTHING about this worship night. If we only knew...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On the way up there, or perhaps just a little bit before, I had mentioned that there was one worship leader that I was REALLY praying that I could meet one on one - or at least have the opportunity to tell her - that she was such a MAJOR catalyst in my life. I 'grew up' these past couple of years watching her worship and being able to connect with it - and by proxy, being able to connect with the Father. I had this VERY strong NEED to tell her this, but the main message that burned in my heart was that I needed to tell her that SHE was the one who gave me permission to worship in Spirit and Truth in the way it felt right to me. I can't really explain it much more than that - it was her ability to worship with absolute abandon that permitted me to do the same. Do I still hold back when I'm leading, of course (working on it...) ... but I will say her example has helped me open up a little wider each time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Despite the fact that I could have crawled out of my skin from the excitement of what was to come, the drive up to Portland was uneventful - just a few friends, talking and encouraging and speaking truth in love. When we got there, we didn't really know where to park. We stumbled on this parking lot - it was one of those pay to park deals. We pulled in, I was getting VERY anxious because it was creeping close to the time we had to be there for the early breakout session and I did not want to miss one second. One TEEEENY parking space (for my friends NOT SO TEEEEENY SUV), two attempts at the parking ticket machine, and three or more questions to the lot attendant, we FINALLY were able to head over to the venue. A solid 30 minutes later. Those 30 ridiculous minutes? Divine intervention. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As we were waiting for the parking debacle to be taken care of, I said for the 1,637th time that I really REALLY hoped to be able to tell this worship leader the profound impact she has had on me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now - Portland is a hustling, bustling city. People everywhere. Prius' and food trucks abounding... There were many people walking up and down every street. Each going in their own direction, here and there... <- an="" fact.="" font="" important="" is="" nbsp="" this=""></-></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As we are walking and we turn the corner on to the street that the venue is on, there are suddenly NO other people around. It was bizarre considering the amount of people we had just been with. I have a bad habit of looking at the ground when I'm walking. And so as we turned the corner, I happened to look up. In the distance, I see these two ladies walking towards us. One with red hair, the other with black. From far away, I couldn't REALLY tell... BUT ... my Spirit leaped - sort of like I imagine the baby in Elizabeth's womb leaped when her sister Mary greeted her. I KNEW God was about to give me the most amazing gift. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everything was simultaneously speeding up and slowing down. I panicked. I turned to my friends in disbelief and I said - that is HER. (#fangirl, remember?). I said to them that I couldn't say what I had to say to her because then I would TRULY be a #fangirl - but they encouraged me and said I HAD to... In hindsight I really did HAVE to... I think I needed to tell her just as much as she needed to hear that. Why else would God orchestrate this whole thing? Why else would God delay our parking, clear the street, then put them STRAIGHT in my path so that when I lifted my gaze, I saw them? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And so.. I pulled them aside - MIND YOU - there are STILL NO OTHER PEOPLE on this street or near us. It was like we were in a bubble. Speaking of, I bubbled over with all of the words and feelings in my heart. And she stood there, smiling and twirling the hair of her sleeping baby that she wore...and at the end of it all, I could have gone home and been satisfied - worship concert or no worship concert ... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Little did I know that was JUUUUUST the beginning of something spectacular... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">** Clearly, I decided to split this up .. come back SOON for part 2 **</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-30772035446672642822015-08-21T12:54:00.003-04:002015-08-21T12:58:53.323-04:00Lavender<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She reminds me of lavender. I am not entirely sure why. When I close my eyes and conjure up an image of her sweet and surprisingly smooth face, she is surrounded by it. Perhaps it is because lavender is one of those overlooked colors - the kind that is often complimentary to something more bold; and yet it is because of that lavender that the brighter color looks dazzling. The color it self is soft just like she is since the years have passed quickly and time has settled in to the corners of her eyes. And yet, her Spirit is full of youth. Not the foolish, haughty kind of youth that thinks it knows better, but the joyous part of youth that has its eye on the prize - although earthly trophies are no match for the reward of heaven that awaits her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She reminds me of lavender. The calming scent of it. The fragrance that soothes even the most anxious of souls. Just dab it on, rub, inhale, and exhale. All will be well in a few moments. She reminds me of this. Her very presence is calming. The fragrance of her interceded prayers heard by the Mighty One causing peace to pour upon those she lifts up. Just be with her. Hold her hand. Share a smile and you will find yourself new again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Her Spirit spills a lived out faith. The kind that most long to experience. The kind that surrenders over and over and produces more fruit each time. Her prayers carry the weight of a saint - and she is not afraid to share them. She is not afraid to share her faith - her Jesus - and what He has done for her and through her. Word by word, her story unfolds in the most remarkable way and you cannot help but get caught up in the wonder of just how much Jesus emanates from her heart. Instead of feeling like you could never achieve a faith like hers, she makes you feel certain that you CAN - encouraging, helping, smiling, loving with an unfailing love like Jesus does. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She reminds me of lavender. The soil drinks deeply when its watered, pulling down the life giving source right to the roots - and then using that source to put forth more fragrance and flowers and outward beauty. She drinks deeply of the Word and from the source of Life that is our Father; her roots remain in Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Just like lavender reaches for the sun, I also long to reach for the Son as she does. In a way full of grace and abounding with love. In a way that draws others to Jesus. In a way that grows deep roots that remain watered with the Word. In a way that will surely have her hear "well done, my good and faithful servant." </span>Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-87611187970803335132015-08-03T16:19:00.001-04:002015-08-03T16:19:05.359-04:00I'm No Longer a Slave to Fear<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Before you read this post, you might want to<a href="http://www.prunedbranches.blogspot.com/2015/05/i-quit.html" target="_blank"> take a look back at my last post</a> in case you missed it. This one might not make sense to you otherwise.</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">SO. It is official. I am a stay at home Mom. I want to capture as much of the 'stuff' that is in my heart about this, so if you're interested in my otherwise normal life, please feel free to read on. If you were wondering if I finally left and don't really want to read on, well that is OK too. Go and enjoy the rest of your day or night :) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I will be honest: the night before my last night, I had a moment of panic. I packed up my desk a few weeks ago, but I kept it in my car (#lazy). The night before, I brought it inside to start going through it. For a moment, I wondered what I was doing. Was this REALLY the right thing? Was this necessary? Isn't there ANYthing that could be done? After some prayers, I reached out to my friend and spilled all of the panic in my heart. Her response (perfect, as usual) "I think that is normal. The next phase of your life is going to be fulfilling and exciting." And suddenly, I realized that I was focused on what I was losing instead of what I was gaining - perspective is everything. The enemy would want me to do that. I am a child of God, no longer a slave to this FEAR of losing out...I need to just trust in His promises and trust that the still small voice that has been whispering sweet encouragement to my heart KNOWS what is best for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My last days of work were not met with much fanfare. No parties. No extra emails.. just the quiet connecting between me and my favorites. We knew it was not going to be good bye, but rather 'see you later.' If there is ONE thing I am VERY grateful for, it's that these few people have been pillars for me. They have taught me things about myself that I didn't KNOW but they could see. They have challenged me, encouraged me, loved me, called me out, and accepted me just the way I am. They are permanently weaved into my life and I do not want to undo the stitching. It was my bittersweet pleasure to have these people walk me out of one season and into another. Surprisingly, the tears never spilled past their welling place and smiles outweighed any sadness that threatened to intercede. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It feels surreal. My heart is simultaneously filled with awestruck wonder and disbelief. I am feeling unusually steady despite the unknown - a byproduct of being in God's will, for sure. It seems crazy, no? The whole thing. Even when I take an unbiased view of the decision that our family made, I wonder if I'm crazy (LOL!)... but I will say this. I have never, ever, EVER been more sure of something in my entire life. Never. God has cemented this in my heart. He has called this change good. He promises not to leave me. He promises to provide for us the things we need. He has started to water desires in my heart that have long been buried - desires that will fulfill my heart more than ANY man-made thing could; than anything I could buy with my salary. I can't see exactly what is ahead, but the Lamp that shines the path one step in front of me is bright enough that I KNOW my next step is secure. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I ask myself what this next season will bring. It will bring challenges and it will bring opportunity. There will be an adjustment period - an adjustment to the budget and an adjustment of TIME...these are the two biggest challenges. BUT the opportunity is endless. I've always said that I'd like to write a book. Why not? If it goes nowhere, at least I can say I have done it. God has stirred up a desire to record a CD (despite my lack of confidence and mediocre skill). Why not? If it goes nowhere, at least I can say I have done it. I have always wanted to PhD in something. Why not see what is out there and consider diving in? Homeschool? Sure - maybe 6th grade will bring that about. Blogging more? Yup. Spending more time with God and His word? ABSOLUTELY. Maybe a little working out? Strongly leaning towards it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of the thoughts that I had on my way home from my last day was this: NOW I have the opportunity to say yes more - especially to my girls. While I don't like to admit this, I often times would say no to avoid something - even IF I knew it would be something that we liked. For example - if the girls wanted to help me make chocolate chip cookies, I would think "ugh. that means I have to wash and put away 3 cookie sheets, 2 bowls, some measuring cups and spoons, a spatula." Lazy? Yes. But I will say it was more of a survival thing - it was more like - do I even have the emotional and physical capacity to do this (45 minute) activity? Same thing goes with things like bed time. I would often say NO you can not stay up 15 more minutes because we have to get up early tomorrow for work. These things may sound small, but they were MAJOR stresses to me. And while we will remain on a routine, I feel like for the first time ever, we have wiggle room. And for the first time in <u><i>forever</i></u>, I do not even feel close to emotional and physical capacity. And yes, it has only been 5 days.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In a recent conversation with my (ever-so-honest) children, I realized that I was anything but joyful. That they had not recently seen my eyes dance with delight or my heart brim over with great happiness. The more I prayed about that, the more I realized that my work circumstances were truly robbing me of joy. I know that I am in control of my emotions and I know that I have the power and the authority to CHOOSE joy, but when the weight is unbearable, choosing ANYthing (even what is for dinner) is a larger-than-necessary task. I feel like I was robbed. That my joy was taken blindly from me...small portion by small portion. And I feel like I LET THAT HAPPEN - and that's not OK. Shame on me. However, the lesson in this is that I will NO LONGER let the foxes in the vineyard steal my joy. It is mine. Fully inherited by being a daughter of a King. We are His joy and His delight and its about time that we lived up to that calling. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So today? We laugh a little more. We swim a little longer. We watch an extra show. We snuggle. We simplify and pare down the extra things so we have what we NEED - and we are overjoyed and full of gratitude that we have what we WANT. We make cookies and wash ALL those extra dishes. We read a book and then talk about how cool it was. We learn how to cook over easy eggs; and how to load the dishwasher the right way. We ALL pitch in to help so that we can spend more time together - un-rushed. Sure, we will not have as much as we are used to, but we will undoubtedly find that there is satisfaction in these lean times and contentment abounding. Because what God is shepherding in my heart will surely overflow - my cup runneth over, indeed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>"Your goodness and mercy shall follow me all my life... I trust in Your promise" </i></b></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">~Good To Me, Audrey Assad</span></div>
Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-88878134126493908182015-05-06T01:04:00.004-04:002015-05-06T01:04:41.739-04:00I Quit<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I suppose the reason that I cannot sleep is that these words need to be 'penned' to this page before my heart and my mind can rest. Why waste perfectly good writing time? Its 1:00 in the morning. I need to be up in less than 5 hours - but I don't think this will take me too long to sift from my heart. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I quit my job. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After almost 15 years. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Quit. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As in, by the end of the summer, I will no longer be employed there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I KNOW you're thinking one of two things: 1. You're CRAZY or 2. What happened? I will answer them both with maybe and it's a long story. If you want to hear it, read on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have been feeling for while that there is change in the air. I could never put my finger on it. I found myself in a constant state of aloofness - like I had one foot planted and the other tapping around to find the hole that I might fall in to when I took my next step. I'm tired, I said. I'm overwhelmed, I said. I'm in a rut, I said... and while all of those things may have been true, they were JUST excuses. There was more to it than that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our church hosts a women's prayer nights (monthly, most of the time). They are a time of prayerful songs and a powerful word from a powerful woman. In the month of September, I had the opportunity to attend one rather than serve at one. This day LITERALLY changed the course of my life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Prior to this, I had been battling work. Knock down, drag outs. It wasn't healthy for me...but I NEEDED this job... or so I thought. During this prayer time, God said to me - Look AT me. Don't look TO me, look AT me. Don't look to the left or to the right - look AT me. I tried. Really. It was one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do. I realize there might not be a huge difference between AT and TO, but when it comes to looking at the face of God, I can ASSURE you there is. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He gave me the scripture of Psalm 39:6 which says - "ALL this busy rushing ends in NOTHING...we heap up wealth not knowing who will spend it." Basically - you could work for wealth all your life, but it will cost you a LOT to do that. We all die at some point - and you could die before you even can ENJOY the wealth that you are building.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After that day, things began to change. As I fasted and prayed over what to do, I felt God calling me away from what I was doing. Towards what? I don't know. Something. But it was the CONSTANT reminder to look AT Him. I mean - it was EVERYwhere. And so I said I would. And I began to practice that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During that 'discovery' time, I realized that my dream to stay home was closer than I thought it ever was. I began to crunch numbers, pray, and pray some more. Would God be calling me to stay home? Could He be granting me the desires of my heart? The more I prayed about it, the more I was sure. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My husband is an amazing man. Sure, we clash like ALL married people do, but he truly is someone special. (Let me precursor this with - I had been praying all along that if this WAS God's will for us, that somehow, someway, my husband would be on board with this. . .) As I emptied my heart of ALL of the emotion and conflict and uneasiness it could possibly contain, he listened to hear me. Not just listened, but listened to hear. He said let's pray about it some more and just make sure that God was whispering to him what He was shouting to me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As the holidays went speeding by, I found myself drawing from a well that was running dry. It was a hard season. I tried to see the bright side of things. I tried to soak up every smile and laugh that poured from my family's hearts... but it just didn't sink in for me. I felt as though I kept digging the hole deeper and deeper with no way out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">About a month or so ago, I was in between asleep and awake on a weekday morning. I love that state. And as I was just resting in that place, I heard the sound of a door unlocking. It was an audible CLICK. And at first, I wasn't sure what that was about, but as the day went on, I realized that I was being unlocked. Unlocked from my employer. Unlocked from the chains that seemed to smother me. I FELT it with my whole being. It was exactly what I had been waiting for. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now - I will NOT in any way say anything negative about my employer - that's not my style. But I will say that I had a conflict. And I had a solution to the conflict....yet it didn't seem that my solution was being considered. Ultimately, without this solution, I felt like I was being set back in my 'career' instead of being propelled forward. There came a day when I realized that things weren't really going to change unless I made them change. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Coincidentally, that VERY weekend, my husband and I had scheduled a trip to our favorite place. Just the two of us and 3 glorious days. We laughed a lot. We talked even more. The one question we mulled over and over was this: In five years, will we wish that we had taken this chance? The answer was an overwhelming YES. I don't deal with life or death. I teach. I have good experience. I have a good education. At the end of our 3 days, we knew it was the end of my 15 years. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So we poised ourselves to jump. We stood on the edge, hand in hand. We closed our eyes, bent our knees, sent up a quick prayer and launched ourselves over the edge. The funny thing? We didn't even fall too far before the Father's hands caught us. He held us tight and reassured us that this IS what He has for us in this season. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Funny thing is that the goal was for me to stay home. We'd foray in to homeschooling (we probably will) and do more 'homesteading' kind of things. Ironically, since then, I have gotten two part time job offers and a per-diem job opportunity. If that's not God proving His faithfulness once again, I don't know what it is. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And so... after all that... I quit. At the end of the summer, I will walk out of comfort and in to uncharted territory...but we all know that a ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what it is made for. </span><br />
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Proverbs 4:23-27<br />
<span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" id="en-MSG-6861" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">Keep vigilant watch over your heart;</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><i style="box-sizing: border-box;">that’s</i> where life starts.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth;</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">Keep your eyes straight ahead;</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">ignore all sideshow distractions.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">Watch your step,</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">and the road will stretch out smooth before you.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;"><b>Look neither right nor left</b>;</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Prov-4-23-Prov-4-27" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">leave evil in the dust.</span></span><br />
<br />Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-53354703330281501032015-01-24T10:45:00.001-05:002015-01-24T10:45:17.197-05:00No One Gives to the Giver<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">** DISCLAIMER BEFORE I EVEN START **</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
** This is NOT in ANY way directed towards ANYONE I know. It is simply an observation I have made over the past few days. I am sorry if anyone who reads this takes it the wrong way - that is not my intention. As in anything, I am just as entitled to share my opinion as you are - both are equally valid - none more right than the other ** </div>
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Now that the above disclaimer is out of the way, let's get started - shall we?<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Giver (n). One who gives; a donor or a contributor. </span><br />
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I am a giver. I always have been. It is not unusual for me to be doing my regular, day in and out, overwhelming things AND other things for other people. I do like this facet of myself even when it sometimes taxes me above and beyond what I KNOW I can handle. Need a meal? I'll just make more than what I usually do and share. Need a phone call or a chat to get something off your chest? I'll fore go TV or whatever pleasure to make sure you are all set. This God I believe in? He loves a cheerful giver. I try to be one all the time.<br />
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I love to give words - I love to give encouragement and hope. I love to share my faith. I love to talk about how much I love others and concepts and things and experiences... I love to give gifts and hugs. I love to share who I am - faults and all - ... I suppose all of that encompasses a 'giver.'<br />
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I had my wisdom teeth out yesterday. I didn't make an enormous fuss about it because I tend to blow things out of proportion (even though I had TOTALLY blown it out of proportion in my mind). I have never been under anesthesia - yesterday was my first time. I am never really out of commission at all... so this is all new to me. This feeling of.... I CAN'T BE THE GIVER. Its like - I can't be who I am. <- any="" but="" don="" feels="" i="" it.="" it="" its="" know...="" know="" like="" me.="" nbsp="" need="" normally="" now="" of="" other="" others.="" others="" p="" say="" sort="" t="" to="" way="" weird="" who=""><br />
My husband works a lot - he is an amazing provider and takes pride in being able to support us like he does. I don't do anything to hinder that. He had to work today (couldn't get out of it) so I just went along with it. I figured I would be able to manage the things that need to be done if I kept it to a minimum. I woke up this morning to three squawking baby birds (i.e. my children) asking for food and needing who knows what from me. I nipped that in the bud but quickly realized that this would be far from the easy day that I had hoped for. There is laundry to be done, there is food to be cooked for dinner, there is picking up that needs to be done. Can my girls help with this? Yes... but the control freak in me wants it all done the way I do it. <- a="" and="" another="" as="" bit="" blog="" br="" children="" delight="" disappointed..="" don="" emotion="" feeling="" here="" i="" in="" is="" itself.="" kind="" listening="" m="" my="" nbsp="" of="" other="" outside="" post="" really="" right="" sit="" snow="" so="" some="" squealing="" t="" that="" the="" there="" to="" understand.="" with=""></-><br />
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Disappointed in myself that I just can't rest. Its almost like I don't understand that concept. You'd think that not even 24 hours after anesthesia, I'd be gentle with myself and do my best to take this opportunity to really do NOTHING. Nope. Because I know that if I don't stay on top of things, they get out of control. Then if things are out of control, I FEEL out of control. If I FEEL out of control, I go in to panic mode... and we all know that Dina + panic mode = absolute disaster.<br />
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Underneath it all, I feel like no one really gives to the giver because they <i><b><u>assume</u></b></i> that the giver has plenty reserves. I know a few givers and they make it look EASY when in reality, it can be hard. It is hard to put yourself/needs aside and include others. Yes, it gets easier with practice... but still. I think that maybe the assumption is that I always have my ducks in a row. I always am able to give more or do more... and so in this vulnerable time of what I might dare to consider 'need,' I find myself wishing that someone would give to the giver.<br />
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Yes, I have had plenty of 'let me know if you need anything"s - but lets be honest - who actually cashes those in? I mean - I've thrown them out there a TON, wishing someone would cash them in, but they never do. Maybe someone comes through for them and I don't know it. Maybe they just go without (which makes me sad)... but regardless... I feel like no one really says "I will let you know" and means it. You don't want to make someone have to do extra just for you. Such a backwards way of thinking...although I imagine that sometimes we say it out of obligation to whatever relationship you have with that person.<br />
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I also am not a big fan of the obligatory "let me know if you need anything" either. If you don't mean it, don't say it. If you're going to feel guilty if you DON'T say it, still don't say it <- a="" am="" and="" certain="" easy="" expected="" from="" i="" is="" it="" its="" lot="" myself="" now.="" of="" off="" people.="" right="" roll="" saying="" the="" this="" times="" to="" tongue="" u=""><i><b>But if your heart isn't in it, what is the point?</b></i></-></-><br />
I believe you should do things because your heart desires to do them, not because you think its the 'right' thing to do. Maybe, in that same situation, it is someone else's 'right thing to do' and not yours. <br /><br />
Which leads me to this...<br />
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From now on, I am <u><i><b>not </b></i></u>going to say "let me know if you need anything." Because no one is honest about it (most of the time) and then when you really need whatever 'anything' is, you don't want to ask for it. Instead, I am going to assess the situation, FIND a need that I KNOW will be there, and then execute. Getting your wisdom teeth out? I will tell you that the night before I will arrive with a pre-op hug and some chicken soup/a homemade heating pad/some italian ice/ice cream and that will be that. Odds are good that 1. you will appreciate it the next day more than you could have imagined on the day it was delivered and 2. you will be relieved that it is one less thing that you have to do and 3. you will feel cared for, loved, and taken care of even when your face feels like it was repeatedly hit with a baseball bat. <br />
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#dismountDina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-41790464665903920632014-08-18T20:18:00.000-04:002014-08-18T20:18:09.357-04:00Rescue<br />
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<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">How
does God normally speak to you? For me, its often a feeling deep down
in my heart or sometimes a Holy Spirit nudging. I have heard God
speak to me a couple of times, but I think He reserves those times
for the big stuff :) In any event, a few months ago, I felt God
pushing me towards the word “Rescue.” Have you guys heard of a
rhema word? In Greek, it means “Utterance” and it usually happens
when you are spending time in prayer or reading the Word. Have you
ever had a word be EVERYWHERE in your life? When you switch the radio
on or off, or when you turn on the TV, or when you overhear other
conversations... I feel like God uses these rhema words to get my
attention. They usually correspond to the season I'm in, but
sometimes they can be for the season to come. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">In
any event, there is no doubt in my mind that God had been pushing me
towards the word rescue. I prayed about it and did some bible digging
(remember: I'm a nerd) and He kept impressing on my heart that the
“rescue is real” and “His rescue always comes.”</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Being
a lover of all things word related, I went straight to the source –
my friend, Miriam Webster. I looked up what rescue means – and I'll
tell you it means this: TO SET FREE FROM DANGER. I also looked up the
Greek word for rescue – which is Sozo – which ironically is also
the Greek word for save. SO then I got thinking.... in my mind,
rescuing and saving are two different things. Remember – Miriam
Webster tells me that to rescue is to set free from danger... but she
tells me that to SAVE is to prevent from danger or avoid it. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">In
order to be set free from danger, I have to be IN A DANGEROUS
SITUATION ALREADY. There is a NEED for someone or something to come
and remove the chains that bind me – whatever those are. BUT if I
am saved, I am not necessarily in a dangerous situation. For example,
I am saved from the pain of Christmas shopping (which is in about 20
weeks, by the way) because I choose to shop online, but I am not
rescued from the pain of it because it doesn't put me in danger. </span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><br />Being
a girl, and a Mom to three girls, I've seen my fair share of
princess-type movies. One of my favorites is Tangled, which features
the store of Rapunzel. Has anyone seen it? I feel really connected
to this movie for some reason. Sounds bizarre, but its just one of
those things. In the Disney adaptation, the girl, Rapunzel, is not
trapped in the tower, but has merely been convinced that she HAS to
stay there and that everything outside of there is dangerous or bad
for her. One day, someone breaks in and agrees to help her break the
rules so she leaves the tower to follow her dreams. Her 'mother' who
had stolen her at birth from the king and queen, ends up following
her and trying to derail her from pursuing her dreams. In the end, we
realize that the boy who showed up that day actually SAVED her to
begin with, but then ended up RESCUING her in the end. She was well
kept and cared for in her tower. She had what she needed. She was NOT
in danger at first...but as the story unfolds we realize that she
really WAS in danger and needed to be RESCUED ( because remember –
to be rescued you have to be in danger already). She was a princess.
And if Jesus is the King of Kings, then surely we are princesses
too. Heirs to the Throne of His grace. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Galatians
1:4 says that (Jesus) gave Himself for our sins TO RESCUE us from the
present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father.”
Funny how Paul wrote this 1965 years ago, and yet we can say WITH
CERTAINTY that its still true. Our world is full of filth and cruelty
and tragedy and lies and fakeness and uncertainty. All of these
things are horrible. All of these things plague us... but we don't
have to be defined by it. The fact that we are RESCUED from it
doesn't mean that we are completely not part of it, BUT It means
that we are no longer enslaved to it. We are no longer enslaved to
the negativity of this world.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Don't
disregard the part of the scripture that says 'according to the will
of our God and Father.” There are things that happen in our lives
that are not 'good' per our standards, yet God allows for His
reasons. I'm confident that EVERYTHING that happens is according to
the will of God – even some of the things that we would prefer not
to happen. </span></span>
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<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">We
have been rescued. Don't you see the value in this? Yes, we are
'saved' by grace through faith – its not something WE'VE DONE, but
something that is a gift from God. Because His grace is poured out
upon us, and because of what HE'S DONE (died on the cross), we are
RESCUED and no longer bound and enslaved to this world. <b>First,
we're saved. Then we're rescued.</b> This world we live in requires
us to be rescued. Its dangerous. Its bombarding us constantly with
deceit and hurtful things ← both of which are against the very core
of who God is. </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The
good news is that we are saved once and rescued as many times as we
need to be. That is the byproduct of His grace. Ezekiel 34:11-12 says
– As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that
have been scattered, so will I seek out my sheep and I will RESCUE
them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of
clouds and thick darkness. The days of clouds and thick darkness come
– at times, they are bountiful. So many days I've spent covered in
a cloud – or a Spirit – of depression or anxiety or sadness or
anger. So many days I've felt my heart thick with darkness – the
kind that kind of swoops in like a rain cloud that covers the Son. I
am His sheep. He is my shepherd. You've all heard that story, right?
The one about the shepherd who leaves the 99 to find the one? That he
REJOICED in finding the one? That shepherd knew that the 99 were safe
but the one needed to be rescued so He pursued it until He found
success. So God, through the prophet Ezekiel, has promised to seek us
and RESCUE us when we've been scattered. Wherever we land, whatever
we do, He will rescue us. I am His sheep. He is my shepherd. </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Psalm
82:3-4 tell us that God rescues the weak and the needy and He
delivers us from the hand </span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">of
the wicked. Proverbs 24:11 tell us that God RESCUES those who are
being taken away to death. The things of this world make us weak, and
needy, and drive us towards a spiritual death. In each of these
cases, God has chosen to offer us grace and to set us free from the
danger of being weak and needy and walking towards death. </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Even
now. Even now as God sits on the throne and Jesus at His right hand,
the Psalms say that “He reaches down from heaven, and rescues me.
He draws me out of deep waters.” How many times do we need to be
rescued. How many times do we BEG God to hear us from heaven and
reach down to simply pick us back up? How many times have we had
knees to the ground, arms raised to the sky, lamenting “God HEAR my
cry! God, I INTERCEDE ON HER BEHALF!! God WHERE ARE YOU?!??!” I
know its a prayer I've said and likely will continue to say. But how
good is He to do that? TO reach down, to rescue and to draw me out of
deep waters?</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Let's
go back to the princess analogy. How many princesses do you know have
been rescued more than once? The stories usually go that the princess
is in trouble, someone rescues her, and then she's living happily
ever after. If our lives were like this, we'd be beyond lucky. But
they aren't. Our lives are messy and unpredictable and require daily
balancing and compromise. We need rescuing MANY times, and I'm
grateful that our prince will come every time, on time. </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Let's
pray: </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Vijaya, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Father,
I am SO grateful that you have rescued me. Thank you for your ransom
and for the price you paid so that I could have freedom. God, we find
our freedom in You so I pray that You would reach down from heaven
and draw us out of deep waters. We are Your sheep, and You are our
shepherd; shepherd us tonight. Come and find us – we are the one –
lost and seeking You . Come and find us. When you find us tonight,
God, please unlock us. Help us to be undone for You. Help us to
encounter You in a new and fresh way. Revive us, God. Breathe new
life in to us, God. Visit with us here tonight. We need you. </span></span>
Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-31256908724153707342014-08-12T19:55:00.002-04:002014-08-12T19:55:32.087-04:00His Name Is A Safe PlaceA few months ago, I had the AMAZING opportunity to share my heart at a women's prayer night at church. I had always meant to post it here, but never seemed to remember to do it. I am preparing for my next heart-dump with the ladies at prayer night on Friday, so I thought it would be best to go in and see what I wrote last time. The topic in mind for this week is definitely different - but funny I should (unknowingly) have one scripture the same. God works like that.<br />
<br />
In any event, as I read through it I thought - I should blog this! It needs to be recorded somewhere.<br />
<br />
SO without further ado, here is my heart on His Name being a Safe Place.<br />
...<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A couple of months
ago, I was listening to an IhoP prayer session led by Misty Edwards.
If you don't know, IhoP is the International House of Prayer and they
are a 24 hour prayer house and you can either go there or you can
stream it online. I have a habit of putting it on when I'm at work
and streaming from there because its never the same and it always
gives me a new perspective on music. Anyway – Misty Edwards is my
favorite leader there and I was happy she was on this day. As I
listened to her serenading our Lord with His own Word using
scripture, I will never forget what she declared. She said “His
Name is a safe place” and she kept singing it over and over. She
was so sure of this. She was imploring her audience – all those
people in the prayer room – to hear her – to TRULY hear her that
His name is a safe place. </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A few days later, I
found that the melody she sang and those lyrics would not leave me.
His name is a safe place...I can still hear it. I had never thought
about this before. Never really considered that His name – that He
is a safe place. I decided to do a topic search about this in the
bible. For those of you who don't know, I'm a self professed nerd and
I'm ok with that :) I am a thinker and a ponder-er and a
research-er... So I decided to use my concordance to try and make
some connections. Is anyone else like me – I think in feelings
first (I'm emotive) and then I have to really work at making those
feelings words and then making those words make any sort of sense to
anyone other than me. Anyone else like that? </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I was honestly
surprised at the amount of scripture there was about this. I didn't
expect to have such a richness of Word to pull from. John 17:11-12
says: “I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in
the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the
power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as
we are one. While I was with them, <b>I protected them and kept them
safe by that name you gave me</b>.” The premise of this chapter is
Jesus praying to be glorified, for his disciple, and for believers.
In this particular part, Jesus is saying as clear as day that His
name is a safe place. He says that he kept the disciples safe by the
name given to Him by His father – Jesus. I believe the Word – and
I know some of you do too – and so believe Him when He says His
name is a safe place.</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">What do you say when
something bad happens.. what is your almost instant response. “Oh
My God” right? How about when something awesome happens? What is
your instant response? “Oh My God” .. and I know we might say oh
my gosh, but I'm pretty confident the first word in your heart is God
and then it comes out as gosh... or maybe that's just me. What do we
say when we are totally overwhelmed and at the end of our rope? “Oh
My God!” .. What do we say when we are in complete despair and
don't know what to do .. “Oh My God!!”.. Do you sense a theme
here? I believe with my whole entire being that our souls are
programmed to KNOW .. to innately know and understand that His name
is a safe place. If something bad happens, we say oh my God but what
are we doing? We are calling Him in to the bad situation. “His name
is a safe place.” If something good happens, we say oh my God but
what are we doing? We are praising Him of course, but we are calling
Him into the midst of the situation and hoping that His safety will
prolong the goodness and beauty of the moment. His name, my friends,
is a safe place. Amen? </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Psalm 91:14 says” <b>I
will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my
name</b>.” Do you trust Jesus. I am asking you that question – do
you trust Jesus? He tells us here that He will protect those who
trust IN HIS NAME. Beloveds, His name is a safe place and its a place
of protection and love and rescue. </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">You may even know this
scripture – Proverb 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a strong
tower, the righteous run to it and are <b>safe</b>” Does it get any
more clear than this? His name is a SAFE place. Its a strong tower, a
place where you can find refuge and have no fear. </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I am fascinated with
the names of God. Its something I've studied and pursued personally
because it helps me to relate to Him – but that's another
devotional for another day. I find that if we want to understand God
better, we should know the facets of Him...and His names give us VERY
clear clues to his nature and His purpose. His names point us to the
full revelation of who He is and the breadth of His glory power and
greatness.</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I've written about
this one before, but one day, I was absolutely struck by something
and I leaned into the fact that God is El Roi – the God who sees
me. Our God never rests, He never sleeps, nothing can be hidden from
his loving gaze. No matter how lost you are, or how un-'Christian'
you are feeling, You are NOT abandoned and you are NOT alone. He is
the God who sees You and His name is a safe place.</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Consider El Shaddai
...The almighty and all sufficient God, capable of DOING and
PROVIDING anything. You know – that impossible situation that we
ALL have, that desire you have to do something but NO means to
accomplish it... El Shaddai tell us not to lose heart and not to give
up. We serve an all sufficient and almighty God to whom impossible is
easy. How could His name, El Shaddai, not be a safe place? If the
words almighty and all sufficient do not conjure up a safe place, we
need to talk. </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I'll give you just one
more – though there are many more. Consider Jehova Shammah - “The
Lord is There.” In the book of Ezekiel, there is a vision that he
describes and he says that the Lord is seated on the throne and He is
high and lifted up. This name of God – the Lord is there – Jehova
Shammah – is a PROMISE for ALL circumstances you could possibly
walk through. When we feel isolated and alone? God is there. When we
feel that we have failed Him? God is STILL there. When we are being
tempted? God is there. When we pray? God is there. When we come
before Him in time of worship? God is there. When we wonder if He can
even hear us? God IS there. He loves us and He is on our side. So if
we serve a God who is there...who is here in our hearts, then surely
His name is a safe place. </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I imagine you're
thinking – that's all well and good, Dina. That's nice that His
name is a safe place. I hear what you're saying, but I just don't
feel it the way you do. I promise you this: Everything flows from
encounter! I can tell you three distinct moments when I encountered
God and where my life was radically changed as a result of it. We
were made to know God and be known by Him. I encourage you to EXPECT
an encounter w/ God at some point. Seek it. It will change your life.
</span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br />Paula White
recently tweeted “Expectancy is the breeding ground for miracles –
there is nothing God cannot access for those who believe. Expect
Exodus 14:14 – that the Lord will fight for you, all you have to do
is be still. Whatever it is you are fighting, leave the fighting to
Him. Don't fight circumstances, don't fight fear, don't fight each
other.. just remember His name is a safe place, He is our safe place.
</span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">God promised you that
His name is a safe place. It is in His gospel of John so there is no
refuting it. Luke says Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord
would fulfill his promises to her. He promises you that His name is a
safe place. </span></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-71804821267167135552014-08-04T20:39:00.002-04:002014-08-04T20:39:53.275-04:00Tense matters....Its been a while...too long for my liking, but it seems that life
is passing along at a VERY challenging pace. First it was the end of
the school year, now its the dog days of summer … all of these
things seem to be taking FOREVER to pass, but suddenly they are gone
– like some strange time vortex that we haven't quite figured out.
In any event, I realized today that I have a lot to say and no one to
say it to... and then I remembered this nice little space where I can
vent.
<br />
<br />
<br />
I woke up this morning, as I normally do, with a song on my heart.
It usually sets the tone for my day. There is always a message in it
for me... always... sometimes its obvious, other times its not... but
today it struck me as something I had to chew on for a while before
I could spit it out.
<br />
<br />
<br />
The lyrics said “ I've tasted and I've seen – of a God who is
greater than anything.” It was a spontaneous moment that soared
into the throne room of heaven in this specific worship set. It
immediately brought to mind Psalm 34:8 – taste and see that the
Lord is good.<br />
<br />
<br />
I was brought back to my childhood church. To the high and lofty
ceilings painted white with beautiful wooden beams running across it,
drop pendant lights sprinkled throughout. To the smell of powder and incense and
wood polish for the long, long pews that glistened even on the rainiest of days. I can recall, with absolute
clarity, the sound of the organ and Mr. Kirby singing “taste and see, taste and
see, that the Lord is good.” As bizarre as it sounds, I can also recall the sound of his cough in between songs - he chain smoked like nobody's business and it seemed to take a toll on his Sunday morning crooning.<br />
<br />
As sad as this is, I have to confess that it took me until my adult years to
make the connection that he actually WAS singing the Psalms. The ones
I could read for myself in the Good Book. The ones that have brought me comfort and eased the growing pains of life ... those very same Psalms. I have no idea why I never put two and two together,...but I suppose that is another story for another day.<br />
<br />
Let's get to the heart of the matter, shall we?<br />
<br />
My journey since my younger catholic years has moved me to a new church and
given me a whole new worship experience. Gone is the organ, here is the keyboard and bass - even some drums. Makes me face-hurt smile to think how much I love where I am. I have learned more about who Jesus is in the past 5 years than I did in my first 25... but again, that is another story for another day (I guess one blog post begets two more?!??!)<br />
<br />
In thinking about the lyrics today, and comparing it to the organ-laced song from my youth, I realized that tense matters. No, not the tightness in between my shoulders (I wouldn't EVER say no to a massage!) but to the actual TENSE of the words. The lyrics are past tense - she has tastED and SEEN. The Word says to taste and see. Taste. See. Now. Not in the past. That got me thinking...<br />
<br />
I can say for sure that I have tastED and I have SEEN that the Lord is good. But can I really say that in the present tense?<br />
<br />
I can't help but relate this to food (no snide remarks, please...). Do you have a desire to taste something when you're not hungry? Think about it. You've just had a meal - whatever your heart desires - and you're just sitting in your seat. Satisfied. Full - OVERfull, maybe... but absolutely happy that what you just ate has exceeded your expectations. If I said to you - do you want to taste my food? You probably would say no. You're satisfied. You don't want to change the taste that lingers on your tongue. But if you were NOT satisfied - if you were starving and I offered you a taste of my food, you would be happy to oblige. You are HUNGRY. You WANT. You, quite possibly, need a taste.<br />
<br />
Jesus offers us this - Jesus offers us the ability to taste and see that He is good. But He won't force us to try a bite. He waits for us to be hungry - and eventually we realize that it doesn't matter what food we eat, the only true source of satisfaction is Him.<br />
<br />
I, unfortunately, have a selfish nature. My first thought is often about how I'm feeling even if whatever the issue brings up is not about me or how I'm feeling. I am working on it. This selfish tendency can put blinders on me. I look around and see how things are NOT instead of how things ARE. I forget that there is pleasure in the small things - like the sound of laughter or a really good cup of coffee. My selfishness ALWAYS turns to grumbling and groaning. Instead of feeling like I'm serving my family by making them dinner, I end up thinking that they are all ungrateful people and should be making ME dinner for all I do for them (I swear, I've had these thoughts. No, I'm not proud of them - I'm keepin' it real here though... I know I'm not the only one). In these blinding situations, I can not SEE that the Lord is good. I can only SEE how things are affecting ME.<br />
<br />
So the song sings to me that I've tasted and I've seen... in the past. And I have - both of those things. And in each time I recognized it, I was full to bursting at the God who would know and see me. If you asked me right at this moment if I can taste and see if the Lord is good, my immediate response would be no. I am not tasting and seeing that He is good. I'm stuck in my own head.<br />
<br />
But if you asked me if I've tastED and SEEN that He is good, I would absolutely say YES.<br />
<br />
Sooooo...we have a problem here, no?<br />
<br />
We (I say we, but I mean I) spend so much time thinking about what has happened, and what WILL happen...that we forget what IS happening. We (again, I) are so caught up in before and after; in I 'used to' but next 'I will.' We change course from the road we USED TO travel SO THAT we can end up at a different destination - completely unaware of the beauty that surrounds us because our mind and hearts are too far ahead - hanging on a hope that may or may not be what we should cling to. We have tastED, we have SEEN. We do not taste and see.<br />
<br />
I'm working on it. Join me?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-50376256345809770332014-03-10T14:18:00.001-04:002014-03-10T14:18:02.514-04:00Dredging The BottomSo I've been thinking (queue the Jaws song) because I had to process some emotions...and what a better way to process heart-emotions than with your head. So I pulled my heart up by the boot straps and forced my mind to sift through the conflict that had taken residence there. <div><br></div><div>After a particularly moving church experience yesterday, I learned this: prayer at the altar stirs up your heart...and sometimes it takes a while to settle back down. I think of it like a small tide pool on a sandy beach. You can walk by, look, and even place a hand in the water and it will ripple, but still remain clear. Once you dredge the sand up from the bottom, the water becomes clouded over and the disruption causes settled things to be unsettled with things swirling about in no particular design other than chaos. Prayer at the altar is like that. Just like in that tide pool, things need time to settle back down again. As long as nothing else disturbs the mix, a little time and patience will get things back to normal. </div><div><br></div><div>I've given myself permission to feel conflicting emotions since I've gone ahead and dredged up muck that was stagnant and stuck to the bottom of my heart. I have allowed myself to feel flooded with peace one minute, and then shrouded with angst in the next. My hope is that this time, I will be able to keep the negative on the top SO THAT my Jesus can come and skim them away. What I want to settle into the depth of my heart are all the things that make me more like Him...all the things that help me shine His light. </div><div><br></div><div>While there is much more work to be done, I feel that this shake up has happened now for a particular reason. I will not allow myself to get caught up in WHY, but I will allow myself to get caught up in HOW I can have patience in the waiting for the revelation that is sure to soon come. </div>Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-12518706666450769072014-03-05T14:28:00.001-05:002014-03-05T15:14:43.746-05:00In The Garden<div class="WordSection1" style="page: WordSection1;">
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Sometimes… well for me, many times.. a lyric will grip my heart for days and days. Sometimes I know why immediately, other times it takes a while for me to figure out why, other times the reason doesn’t matter as the comfort it brings is enough. It depends on my state of heart. In any event, I’ve been slain by a lyric that digs deeply into the season I am in right now. This morning, with the help of a Facebook prayer post and a YouTube video, I think I'm finally able to put things together.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Misty Edwards in all her melodious grace sings to me the current song of my heart:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I want to be Your companion,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Just like in the Garden<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If You’re searching for Eden,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Find it in me, God,… find it in me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And I swear she’s in my heart. Being human, I sometimes feel really close to God… other times, I feel as if there is a distance between us. This is a completely normal thing – I know I’m not the only one who experiences this and I’ve learned to accept it. My God is bigger than the gap that exists between my perception of God’s closeness and how close He really is. I stand firm in this and know that my reunion with the closeness of God that I desire is just ahead. I really just want to be His companion – the kind where conversation is happening despite the audible silence. “I want to be Your companion.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have two distinct images in my mind’s eye about a garden. The first garden I conjure up that is synonymous with ALL gardens is my grandmother’s garden. As a kid, it was a maze of beans and corn as tall as the sky according to my little girl eyes. The sound of the breeze would catch them, and when that happened my grandmother would be hidden from sight and sound. This garden was dusty in drought and muddy in rain. The fig tree stood alone as a solid symbol of strength and vitality. It was a beautiful garden, indeed. “Just like in the garden.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The second is how I envision the Garden of Eden – which I’m sure pales in comparison to what it really looks like. I picture exotic flowers, a beautiful tree of life with deep roots and expansive branches covered in glorious leaves of shades of green. I picture a worn path walked by God Himself and left for everyone who would come. I picture darting bunnies and the resounding chatter of hidden animals. This Eden was a place of peace and luxurious rest; a place of satisfaction and joy. To be defined and have a steadfast soul in those words would be mind bending. “If You’re searching for Eden, find it in me…find it in me…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This morning I read a prayer about being ‘dusty.’ My mind dreamt up a picture of a woman working in a garden, her feet and hands covered in dust. Her face covered too, but also marked with lines caused by sweat or perhaps a tear or two. I imagined that the covered parts of her body – her arms and legs were also ‘dusty’ just not as obvious as the exposed parts were. I pictured this woman walking into church today – Ash Wednesday – to receive her ashes and having the priest use the holy water to carve out a cross on her forehead as that would have been more noticeable than using the anointed ash from last year’s palms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">………..Maybe I was that woman working in the garden. Working hard, laborious days… toiling away at tasks that seem mundane yet are necessary. Perhaps I’ve let the covered parts of me get dusty and I’ve decided not to care all that much since no one else could see……<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My catechism has taught me that the Lenten season prepares us for Easter by way of prayer, repentance, penance and fasting. These sacrificial acts are necessary for preparing the heart for the Easter season. After all, it is the season that means that spring will emancipate us from a cold, long winter just as my Savior redeemed me from the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If I am the woman in the garden, this season has the possibility to redeem me from a self that is dusty and worn. If I am the woman in the garden, this season requires me to tend to my garden and view the mundane as striking and the necessary as an occasion of joy. If I am the woman in the garden, this season requires me to tend to planted seed and use as much care in the first seed as in the last for they ALL could bear fruit in season. If I am the woman in the garden, this season requires me to know that I cannot do any of this on my own nor am I doing any of it on my own as there is someone greater than I causing rain and drought and sunshine and cloud cover.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As the cry of my heart is to cultivate a heart of Eden, I also know that without God and without this Easter season, I cannot do that. The answer to the above lyrical prayer is sung in the next stanza where God says “I’m right here, I’m right where you left me all this time.” You see, He is ALWAYS here, always by my side and yours. Sometimes He is loud, other times He is silent. Sometimes you know which way to go, other times you don’t. But our God will NEVER leave nor forsake us and He is always on our side. We think we’ve been abandoned. We think God is too busy and He doesn’t have time for us.. but the beauty of our God is that He is as near to me as He is to you – a whisper of His name can change everything, just as a wet wash cloth can wipe away hidden dust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">During this Lenten season, I encourage you to find those dusty places. Don’t look away from them and think that since company isn’t coming over, you can skip it this week. Go out to your garden and tend to the seeds planted – and if you haven’t planted in a while consider turning over the soil. Connect with the God of all nations who loves you more than we have the human capacity to love back…and most of all turn your hearts to Him who is worthy so that the harvest that is soon to come will produce a bounty.</span></div></div>Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-63609531177376739972013-10-15T20:13:00.001-04:002013-10-15T20:16:19.273-04:00Satisfaction<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Felix Titling; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">~~ Weekly Worship Team Devotional ~~</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Felix Titling; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“</span></span><span style="color: red; font-family: Felix Titling; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b>Jesus is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him</b></span></span><span style="color: red; font-family: Felix Titling; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">.” ~John Piper</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Yikes. I could probably write a sermon on this one, but I’ll do my best to keep it as short as I can. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">There have been a few red letter moments in my life where I’ve felt truly satisfied; where the satisfaction runs deeper than my heart can see and my mind can comprehend. The kind of satisfaction that lasts for a while and leaves you with feelings of awe and disbelief. I feel like there are levels of satisfaction - like there is the satisfaction of a good meal, or a job well done, or an 'att'a'boy from a friend ---- these feelings of satisfaction are valid and even necessary at times, but nothing, NOTHING like the God-led satisfaction that hopefully you've experienced. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">In order to be satisfied with Him, we have to know Him. In order to know Him, we must read Him and be in His presence. Satisfaction is not an independent emotion --- by that I mean that in order for satisfaction to occur, something has to happen first. In order for me to feel full, I have to prepare a meal; in order for me to experience a job well done, I have to have a job to do and do it well. See where I'm going? In order to be satisfied in Him, we HAVE to spend time in His presence. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">When we spend time in His presence, we realize that there are things He wants us to do. There are ways in which He wants us to serve. There are people He wants us to minister to. Spending time with God allows us to hear the call He has on our lives. I've learned that most of the time when you are acting in obedience to your call, it feels natural. You are innately aware of your own shortcomings, but just as innately aware that God Himself will fill the gaps - and its easy to trust that when you are operating in your gift. Sure, you fail - we all do as we are NOT sinless and spotless as the lamb, BUT, you know that the failure was planned and that there is a lesson in it for you. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I say all of this to say that "Jesus is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." I believe that to be satisfied in Him, we NEED to have a relationship with Him. That relationship does take work. It takes effort. It takes time. There are growing pains - but in the midst of it all, we are seeking satisfaction in Him. At the end of our lives, when we stand at the gates we ALL desire to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant," right? There, my friends, is the ULTIMATE satisfaction. And if we live our lives preparing for that statement and finding our satisfaction in spending time with Him, hearing Him, abiding in Him, and serving Him, then we can rest assured that Jesus will be most glorified in us. This, my friends, is the light that others see. This is the true mark of someone who knows the Lord and is known by Him. This, my friends, is the prayer I pray for all of us. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The worship list this week is a journey - its a reminder of how blessed we are, its a lifting of our hearts to a God who knows me as intimately as He knows you, and its a surrender of the things that hold us back so that we can find satisfaction in Him and give Him ALL the glory. </span></span></span></span></div>
</span> </span>~Amen~</span> </span> </div>
Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-4137246903274090122013-09-23T11:06:00.001-04:002013-09-23T11:06:29.214-04:00How Many Times~Worship Team Inspiration Devotional~<br />
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Mark 4:19 says: “But the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the Word, and it proves unfruitful.” In context, this is from a the parable of the sower (scattered seeds in different places, producing different results). As I read through it, I was struck particularly by verse 19.<br />
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How many times? How many times have we let the cares of this world trump the truth of God’s Word? How many times have we let our own selfish desires trump the Word? How many times have we put the advice of friends or family first before the advice of God’s Word and then been disappointed in the turnout? How many times have we placed emphasis on man or manmade things over the blessings that God has poured into our lives? How many times?<br />
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The good news is that God is not counting. He is not keeping a ledger with my name and yours next to it, tallying up the number of times we mess up. He is the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow. He is sovereign, and He sits on the throne of our hearts… And just as strong as His hands were when they created the universe is as gentle His hands were when He crafted each one of us – down to the gifts He bestowed and the number of hair on our heads. His love is secure. It is steady. It is unchanging and ever present.<br />
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Today, do yourself a favor and celebrate the power and sovereignty of the God we serve. He is worthy of ALL praise. Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-3765693226774797202013-08-08T19:37:00.001-04:002013-08-08T19:37:54.045-04:00Knotted LoveI have the absolute honor of being a part of the worship team at our church. It is full of amazing talent and incredible hearts. On the weeks that I lead (meaning - I get to pray and seek a list of songs), I write a mini devotional to go along with my song choices. Usually, there is a scripture that I run across that sets the course for the list, or perhaps it's a song that won't leave my heart until its sung. In any event, I like to tell my team why I went the direction I did...I feel like if I can share my heart with them, they will be able to join me in earnest prayer for preparation for what's to come on Sunday. Sort of the "when two or more are gathered in my name" philosophy.<br />
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In any event, I often write these mini-devotionals (as I call them) and then I wish I saved them because I'd love to go back to read them later on. <br />
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I've decided that I will post them here. They aren't too long and I know I will be happy to have them in a central place :)<br />
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Happy Reading!<br />
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Zephaniah 3:17 “ The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing”<br />
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Love. It’s on my mind this week. Not just ohhh-i-love-my-husband-love (cause I do J), but I spent some time thinking about how much we all NEED to be loved, and how much we all NEED to love each other (as unconditionally as possible, forgiving faults and accepting people for who they are right in this moment).<br />
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It would be nice if our love was like a straight, taut rope with perfectly gapped and tied knots that mark the journey of how we came to love the person it was tied to. One knot for the first time you met, maybe one knot for the first time you realized that THIS person (spouse, family, mentor or friend) was going to be a part of your life. But the truth of the matter is that our love for each other is nothing like a perfectly taut rope of knots. Its knots within knots tied around knots with varying spaces between. Love can be messy and tangled and confusing. And because love can be these things, we have to look to the One who created love to straighten them out. His definition of love is not the same as ours (1 Corin 13).<br />
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Rick Warren said: “God IS love. (1 John 4:8) He didn’t need us. But he wanted us.” I’ve realized that when I feel unloved, or perhaps better stated – when I feel not loved to the full measure of love that I feel I need at that moment, I need to look to Him that is love to quiet my restless heart. What I am missing is the unconditional, holy love that only Jesus can pour into us. His love pours and seeps between the tangles and the knots because His love is perfect love. His love is able to reach the places that human love cannot.<br />
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I love this concept that Jesus COVETS us and that His sacrificial love is why we are able to be heaven-minded. That I can safely submit to His authority and trust that He has loved, is loving, and will continue to love me in whatever stage I’m at. As humans, we don’t have this capacity. But He does. He WANTS us and has paid the ultimate price for us.<br />
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My prayer is that you are able to get lost in the wonder of His love for us as you move thru this week. Focus on seeing how perfect love is able to fill the space between where your heart is and where His heart for you is. <br />
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~ Love and light ~ Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-51225267874538684352013-04-17T19:43:00.001-04:002013-04-17T19:46:45.308-04:00Wherever I go, You find me. . .<div class="_38 direction_ltr">
So......I love music. Its probably a common theme you can see if you've read through my blog posts. Its also VERRRY obvious if you know me in real life. Every song is my favorite song (its true, though!). I love lyrics a ton too. I love to see how other people process emotion. I love to connect with strangers through the words that they privately penned to a page ... and I love that those same words could be called mine. <br />
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Have you ever had a moment where you knew something because you'd heard it a million times... yet you didn't really KNOW it, as in understand it? I can't be the only one, right? Tell me that has happened to you. Its like you hear it all the time. You even probably say it, but the true meaning of it is not something that your mind had wrapped itself around. <br />
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Well...<br />
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My heart recently has been burdened by a few things. Some heavier than others, but all of them together weighing a ton more than my heart is used to carrying. I frantically sought Truth in the pages of the Word, but rarely came across anything that shouted to me. I poured through song after song after song, yet didn't find comfort in what I was hearing. Until Monday. <br />
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As I was driving in to work, a worship leader out of Bethel Church in Redding, CA was serenading our God on my behalf. I was halfheartedly listening - the other half of my heart was deeply saddened and stuck in a thought process of its own. As she sang a song that is part of my 'private stock' worship, it was as if the music faded out and her words shouted in. She proclaimed <strong>"Nothing is hidden from Your sight; Wherever I go You find me; You know every detail of my life...You are God and You don't miss a thing."</strong><br />
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El Roi - the God who sees me. Heaven broke through in that moment. This God that I love and this God that I serve KNOWS me. Me. This crazy, obsessive, strong willed, not-always-obedient, random girl He created...He KNOWS me. <br />
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UGH... that means He knows ALL of me. Even the parts I keep hidden from myself. You know - the junky stuff sometimes bubbles out of nowhere that leaves even yourself wondering where it came from? He knows all of THAT stuff too... Ugh.<br />
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I realized in this very moment a bunch of things. The first one being that I found no comfort anywhere at all until this point because I was trying to figure it out all on my own. I was trying to be the one with the answers. I was trying to rationalize with God - yet, there is no need. He knows EVERY detail. I can't hide from him... and I realized that I was trying to. Instead of resting with Him, I was wrestling with Him. Instead of confiding in Him, I was hiding from Him. I was going about it wrong. <br />
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My God knows me - and he loves me anyway. He is the God who SEES me. He sees right through me. Past the outer courts of my heart into the not-so-holy place. He sees the things I place upon the altar and He asks me to clear a lot of it away. He sees my imperfections as perfection. He sees my motivations and my mistakes. He sees me running away to hide in a corner, holding things in my hands that I should be putting into His. . . and He loves just the same. Crazy love. <br />
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We all hide things, right? We all hide things from other people and even from ourselves. Its a crazy thought that I could even hide from Him. What I realized in this undone moment on my way to work is that I can't... and I don't want to anymore. <br />
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The truth of the matter is that God knows every detail of our lives, and yet he still pursues us as though we were sinless and spotless as He was. We cannot hide from Him. We can ignore Him, but it doesn't change his omniscience. I've decided to embrace the mess I'm in and count it all as joy (and at this, I fail DAILY). I've decided that if God deems me worth knowing so intimately that I cannot hide, then I should just surrender. I've decided that if God himself covets us just the way we are, then He is worth every sacrifice we make to honor Him. <br />
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I am grateful that God is this way for everyone. He knows us ALL. When we go to Him, we do not have to justify any thought or action - we can just go. We can just be. We can just rest, mess and all. </div>
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Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-8387385962950338982013-02-16T19:22:00.001-05:002013-02-16T19:22:13.213-05:00ChoppedDo you watch the TV show Chopped? For a while there, I was obsessed. I would catch every episode, every new show... I loved it when they brought the best of the best back and had them face each other. I loved the creativity, the intensity, and the beautiful results... My absolute favorite part, however, was the unveiling of the ingredients. You never knew what they were going to get. I can recall one of the shows having these delicious, interesting choices...and then a package of orange cheese powder from mac and cheese. You should have heard the chefs! They were not pleased - not one bit!<br />
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I have been prompted in my heart to draw parallels from that show to my life at this very moment. If you know me well enough to be in the 'inner circle,' you know that I am trying to figure out a solution to a problem that has plagued me for far too long. In trying to seek out answers, I have been spending more time in my devotionals and in prayer...I know that God will reveal it all to me in His perfect timing. "The Lord will fight for me, all I have to do is be still" Exodus 14:14. <br />
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Because I am trying to figure things out (even though I shouldn't be), I have had to really think about the changes that have happened over the past few years. Everyone changes, yes, but for me there have been some significant ones. For comic relief, I have been envisioning myself in a Chopped scenario. Here is what I see: <br />
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I picture myself as a contestant (remember: I was obsessed for a while!) and I have my wooden mystery box. I am anxious, excited, already planning what baseline to use regardless of my ingredients... I have my hands on the box top and I'm waiting for Ted to tell me to open it. But instead, God has asked me to open it. I open the box and stand in awe at my own reflection. In this moment, I realize that God has given me ingredients to work with. As I stare at the ingredients, I realize I have no idea what to make with this. I know time is ticking, I know that I probably should be sauteing or frying or steaming or infusing or whatever... but I am basically stuck to the ground, wondering what to do. <br />
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I try not to be a boastful person - it annoys me. But I also think that a healthy dose of self confidence is important. I am going to acknowledge that God has given me a few ingredients to work with in my Chopped box. If you know me, you may disagree. If you know me, you may think that the ingredients I see are not the best ones that you see... but regardless of that, I want to put the disclaimer out there that I am NOT being boastful, but rather telling you a few ingredients that God has put in my Chopped box. <br />
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<strong>Ingredient number 1</strong>: Psalm 96 - Sing to the Lord a new song, sing to the Lord, all the earth. I have always loved music - that is no secret. I grew up in a musically diverse household - everything from Little River Band to Linda Ronstadt to Frank Sinatra to Carly Simon...I was able to play an instrument in band and sing for chorus. It brought me joy - and I was actually OK at it. However, something shifted in my heart a few years ago and I began to want to use that love of music to share the love of the Lord. Since God is good and He is faithful, He placed the right people in my life who encouraged me and gave me chances even when maybe I didn't deserve them. He has given me a new song to sing. Just recently He gave me the opportunity to learn the piano - and while I am FAR from being good, I will say that being proficient is good enough for me. My whole life I have wanted to play the piano... and in just 4 short months, He has given me the ability to connect what is in my heart with what comes out of my fingertips. He is good. <br />
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<strong>Ingredient number 2:</strong> Viewing most things through a wide view lens. I most likely couldn't tell you what is going to happen tomorrow, but if you need to know what is going to happen months from now because of a decision you are making today, I probably could do it. For some reason, small details escape me - but long term effects are clear as day. The problem I encounter with this is that not many people are 'projectors' and so it is hard to line up my vision with most other people's vision because there usually isn't too much overlap.<br />
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<strong>Ingredient number 3:</strong> Writing. Habakkuk 2:2 "Then the LORD replied: "Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald may carry the message to others." Like music, I have always loved to write. I remember writing a poem in 2nd grade and can still recite it. I wrote this incredible story in 6th grade once, I wish I still had it. Clearly, I love to blog ... but I also like to write in my own journal just for me. I can't share everything here. You can often find me writing out looooong emails that replace phone conversations, but that means more to me because writing helps me to process emotion. On my bucket list (and the bucket list of countless others) is to write a book. I have no idea what this book will be about, but I know it will glorify Him and I know that I will just "know" the right time to write it. <br />
<br /><strong>Ingredient number 4:</strong> No idea. This mystery box on my Chopped challenge has this one last ingredient..this one thing that I don't know how to work with, or what to do with, or even what it is called...but its SOMETHING. I have a feeling it is my "umi" ingredient.. the one that caters to the 6th sense of 'food.' I am trusting in the Lord to click the ligh bulb on at ANY moment about what this is...because I have to get cooking...<br />
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I truly still don't know what to do with all of this. My prayers always includes a sense of urgency and wonder at why I have been given these ingredients to work with. It always feels best to be using them, but there really isn't a way to blend them into being used all at the same time...and there is certainly not enough time to use them all independently to their full capacity.<br />
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The point of this post is to get you thinking. What did God put in your Chopped box? What are the ingredients that he has asked you to compose the perfect dish with? While I certainly don't have answers, I do know that unlike Chopped, we all do not have the same ingredients. And even if, by chance, we did... we would never use them the same. The TV show is proof of that. Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-52816386293430096242013-02-08T12:02:00.004-05:002013-02-08T12:02:58.617-05:00Casting a Long ShadowIn a rare moment of stillness, I looked out my upstairs window. It was late afternoon, the sky was brilliant blue - almost too bright to look at without squinting or a pair of sunglasses. The clouds were scarce but refused to be completely hidden. While I noticed the sky, I also noticed the shadows. The tree branches, bare of leaves, left broken shadows across our neighbor's lawn. The cars parked along the street offered a a sideways slanted, narrow version of themselves on the street beside them. The one that struck me the most, however, was the one our house was casting. <br />
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The shadow our house casted on this day, in this minute, reached far. It went past our neighbors house and further on to their neighbor's back yard. Let me assure your our house is not large - its an average sized 1930's colonial on a small lot in a semi-suburb of the capital city. My house had no right to cast a shadow this big. It was clear that the reflection it gave was one of great reach - it longed to break the boundaries drawn by its walls to spread further, fly higher...<br />
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Clearly, science tells us that the size of the original object is skewed because of the play of the light. Because of the angle of the sun, and the openness of the barren trees, our house obstructed the streams of light from the sun. Our house blocked the light. The light persisted. The light, this bright light from the sun, persisted over the house and pushed on. It persevered and was able to over shine what was in its way. In the process of this, what is seen is a false perception of what the house truly looks like. It is not a reflection, but rather a projection of what the light wanted it to be. It gave us two pictures - what is true (the house) and what is not true (the shadow). <br />
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I thought of the word shadow - and its meaning. Some would say that a shadow is like a reflection - mocking whatever the light is playing upon. Others would say that a shadow is like a covering - something that gives comfort and rest (think: a little baby who has her Mom affectionately nickname her 'my shadow,' or spending time in the shadow of a tree). <br />
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I thought about this image in terms of myself. Do I cast a long shadow? Do you? In my perfect (clearly made up) world, the shadow that I would cast would be one of truth; meaning, the shadow itself would be equal in measure to me in that moment. The prophet Isaiah talks about the 'shadow of a great rock in a weary land.' Would I want to be like that? Would I want to be the place where people found refuge when they are weary? Is it my job to cast a long shadow? Job says "As a servant earnestly desires the shadow," meaning, my job as a servant to my King IS to cast a long shadow so I am able to offer a place of rest.... not sure I'm cut out for that one, but if it is what we are called to do, to be????....then I guess we'll have to work on that one. <br />
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At the end of my thoughts on this, I realized that I truly desire to be both the shadow caster and the one to rest in a shadow. I want the Son to radiate so brightly that the overflow casts a long, far reaching shadow where people can find a safe, shady place to rest. I want to constantly find myself IN His shadow restoring and recharging and reflecting on how far my own shadow goes. Will you join me there? Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-65010818339171079592012-12-17T12:32:00.001-05:002012-12-17T18:47:08.754-05:00Isaiah 55:8-13Jesus, come quickly.<br />
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Never in my life have I ever said those words. Normally, I say Jesus give me more time – more time to love, more time to share, more time to shine my light, more of You…Jesus tells us that for everything, there is a season. Jesus tells us that the time is now to find Him. Jesus tells us that we are salt and light. Jesus tells us that we should be a light unto the world. Jesus tells us that he wants NONE to perish – but all to have everlasting life. For me. For now. Jesus come. How can our hearts carry this burden? How can our hearts carry this fear of uncertainty? Jesus tells us He will restore us...but Jesus, come now and come quickly because the time between now and our restoration in You seems a million lifetimes away.<br />
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<strong>“Seek the Lord while he may be found;</strong></div>
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<strong>call on him while he is near.</strong></div>
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<strong>7 Let the wicked forsake their ways</strong></div>
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<strong>and the unrighteous their thoughts.</strong></div>
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<strong>Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,</strong></div>
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<strong>and to our God, for he will freely pardon.”</strong></div>
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Jesus tells me in the space between awake and asleep that I was made for times as these. He tells me to let Him in. He tells me to surrender. And while I would love to say He always wins, He doesn’t. And while I would love to say that I am always obedient, I’m not. He tells me to have faith – to TRUST Him – wholly, entirely, selfishly even – because that type of love gives way to His. That type of love makes His ways, my ways; makes His command to go out and speak Truth, my ability. Such a place as this is hard – but we need it for times such as these. We are the sowers, the spreaders, the shepherds, the seed… but most of all we are the sheep ourselves. We are to follow our one master and not stray. We are to TRUST Him – that his ways are above our ways, that his thoughts above our thoughts … because the only way to make it through times as these is to believe that. The only way to make it through times as these is to TRUST that His purpose prevails and while our hearts feel as though they may shatter, the truth is that He stands beside us guiding every tear to water a perfect fruit of our sadness… a perfect fruit - ripe for His picking and His glory.<br />
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<strong>8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,</strong></div>
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<strong>neither are your ways my ways,”</strong></div>
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<strong>declares the Lord.</strong></div>
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<strong>9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,</strong></div>
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<strong>so are my ways higher than your ways</strong></div>
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<strong>and my thoughts than your thoughts.</strong></div>
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<strong>10 As the rain and the snow</strong></div>
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<strong>come down from heaven,</strong></div>
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<strong>and do not return to it</strong></div>
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<strong>without watering the earth</strong></div>
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<strong>and making it bud and flourish,</strong></div>
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<strong>so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,</strong></div>
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<strong>11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:</strong></div>
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<strong>It will not return to me empty,</strong></div>
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<strong>but will accomplish what I desire</strong></div>
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<strong>and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.</strong></div>
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And from the solitude of our despair, we pick up the ashes of our desperate hearts and we bring it to Him. Blowing the ashes, scattering them across the desert to the furthest point where the sky and the sand meet…and He is there. In ALL the spaces and ALL the gaps between where you can see and where you are. In His eyes you watch the desert turn to garden. The blooms revealing colors you haven’t seen in a while and the fragrance of spring renewing your mind. The mountains that spring up from the flat, weary surface remind you that there IS a person who LIVES inside you. She has a purpose. He has a plan. She has a broken heart. He repairs it, one ash at a time. He promises that weeping endures for the night, but joy does come in the morning. He promises renewal. He promises endurance in Him. He promises a new song for her growing broken heart. He only asks her to Trust.<br />
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<strong>12 You will go out in joy</strong></div>
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<strong>and be led forth in peace;</strong></div>
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<strong>the mountains and hills</strong></div>
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<strong>will burst into song before you,</strong></div>
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<strong>and all the trees of the field</strong></div>
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<strong>will clap their hands.</strong></div>
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<strong>13 Instead of the thorn-bush will grow the juniper,</strong></div>
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<strong>and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.</strong></div>
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<strong>This will be for the Lord’s renown,</strong></div>
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<strong>for an everlasting sign,</strong></div>
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<strong>that will endure forever."</strong></div>
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AmenDina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-71383364588980248882012-12-16T16:45:00.000-05:002012-12-16T16:45:39.487-05:00As a Nation, As a Mom...As a nation, we grieve. <br />
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As a nation, we mourn.<br />
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As a nation, we band together and pray.<br />
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As a nation, we weep. <br />
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As a nation, we are speechless.<br />
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As a nation, we cannot fathom.<br />
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As a nation, we have no answers. <br />
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As a nation, we lament.<br />
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As a Mom...I do all these things and more. <br />
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As a Mom, I push impatience aside and remember the Mom who would hear a lifetime of whining for one more I love you.<br />
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As a Mom, I search for signs of upset and fear on my own babies faces because they are right in front of me and I am afriad they can see my heart.<br />
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As a Mom, I second guess my decision to be where I am and have what I have because I wonder if the risk will outweigh the benefit.<br />
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As a Mom, I knit my heart with other Moms - and while my sense of loss pales in comparison to theirs, this community of mothers feels each loss in their core.<br />
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As a Mom, my compassion alternates between tears of anger and tears of joy that these special children each were a gift to this world, and that gift is everlasting.<br />
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As a Mom, I look to my faith to help me understand. My heart says - if I grieve this much, how much MORE does He grieve this loss? My heart says - "Do not be afraid, I am with You."... My heart says - just be still and know that He is God...<br />
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As a Mom, I know that one thing is certain. That my God sits on His throne and He is sovereign above all. He loves. He creates. He gives and He takes away. He is our safety, our refuge, and bottles all our tears. As a Mom, I pray that the Mom's whose arms are empty tonight can rest in this truth. <br />
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As a nation, we stand - under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. <br />
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Join me in prayer for the hurting families. It does not matter what your religion is, how active you are, your past, your present..what matters is that we can join together. Jesus says that when two or more are gathered in His name, we will hear from heaven. Let the families affected by this tragedy hear from heaven. Please join me in the shout. Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-13709061407095242602012-09-12T21:19:00.001-04:002012-09-12T21:49:01.517-04:00Empty MeI have this index card on my desk that has a quote from one of the email devotionals that waits for me every morning when I get to work. It reads: <br />
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"The moment our hearts are emptied of pride, selfishness, ambition, and everything that is contrary to God's law, the Holy Spirit will fill every corner of our hearts. But if we are full of pride and conceit and ambition and the world, there is no room for the spirit of God. We must be emptied before we are filled" <br />
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Wowza.<br />
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I avoid this index card even though it is taped along the bottom of my monitor and written in faded blue ink. It's followed me from desk to desk offering the same message that my heart does not want to hear.<br />
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You see, I struggle with pride, selfishness, and ambition. Daily. It's a fine line between feeling satisfied at a job well done and proud of an accomplishment. It's a fine line between working hard to get what you want and working only to get what you want. It's a fine line between going after a goal and being driven by ambition. <br />
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This index card challenges me more than any other words on a page. When I reflect on them, I find myself wondering, was I humble enough? Were my motivations right? Did I leave room for God to be glorified? Did I give God the glory or did I think, in my mere mind, that I was the one responsible for ANY of the success I found? <br />
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We must be emptied before we are filled.... but who wants to run to empty? I do it with my gas tank because I am lazy...but I often kick myself in the behind because I end up having to get gas at the most inconvenient times for the most outrageous price. It is so easy to see how we err, isn't it? But as easy as it is, it is equally as hard to correct our bad behavior. Most of it is impulsive, isn't it? Its like a child that you say no repeatedly to that is still drawn to their offense. Uncontrollable. <br />
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Pride, selfishness, and ambition are necessary for worth - I am absolutely sure... but how much of it do we need to strike a balance? I suppose that answer is different for everyone. I could spend time trying to answer it here, but it might only apply to me. <br />
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I have sat by a friend who hit absolute rock bottom - a friend who was proud, a wee bit selfish, and definitely full of ambition. This friend was hollowed out by grief, pain, loss, uncertainty, hopelessness ... The shell that stood, lamenting, next to me felt as though it would shatter at the slightest whisper of air. In this brokenness, in this emptying of pride, selfishness, and ambition, the Holy Spirit swooped in and turned moaning into shouts of joy. Oh how He loves us. <br />
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Our God is a God of second and third and fourth and infinite chances. He wants us to be able to glorify Him - and so what He does is allow us to be emptied so that all we have is Him, His word, and His promise. When we accept this, when we lean into this and use it as a crutch to take the next step, then He weeps tears of joy and celebrates the victory. He has made us more than conquerors - we are His friends, His disciples, His missionaries, His heart of praise and worship. On the upside of it all, He allows us to be blessed to a measure that is bigger than our hearts desire - which makes us humble and full of awe - which makes us shout from rooftops what our God has done for us even when we don't necessarily deserve it. <br />
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Empty yourselves, friends. It may be easy for some, hard for others...but the glory of the goodness of our God will fill your hearts - every single corner. Trust Him.Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-24397681391048865792012-08-25T21:27:00.000-04:002012-08-25T21:27:11.321-04:00Bumper Sticker: Never SatisfiedHIIII!!! I missed you, pruned branches blog!!! Let's get reacquainted, shall we?<br />
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A while back, I saw this bumper sticker while sitting in traffic on the highway. The bumper sticker read "NEVER SATISFIED" ... I found it ironic that the person who chose this sort of proclamation also drove an old Ford Escort hatchback. I wondered if that bumper sticker was there because of the car or because the person driving the car truly was never satisfied. As we crawled along, inch by inch by mile, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Back and forth my heart went wondering about the person in the car. Sad to say, I never caught up to them to take a sneak peek (and no, I'm not the only person to look at people while they drive by!) but I did spend some time imagining who they were. <br />
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Perhaps I would've seen an overweight woman - she is never satisfied and uses food to fill the desire she has deep, deep in her heart. Perhaps I would've seen a young college aged girl - one who is never satisfied despite the fact that her parents worked hard at saving for her education and can't understand why they grumbled at paying $40 for a cotton tshirt with a store's logo on it. Perhaps I would've seen a hard working man who is acting passive aggressive towards his wife and alluding to the fact that he works his tail off only to feel like it's never enough for her. Maybe a high school boy slapped that bumper sticker on his Escort to tell the world that this wasn't it for him - the Escort will one day be a Mercedes or better because he is driven enough to work hard enough for it.<br />
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Never satisfied.<br />
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While speculating about the Escort's ghost driver, I was struck with a healthy (but heavy) dose of conviction. Why would this be interesting to me? Why would I care so much about it? Know why? Because I am one who struggles with this. I think the term struck so close to home because I find myself there, ... more often than I care to admit if I'm being honest. I can't tell you how many times I have thought "if I only, if we could just, why can't we have/do/see/experience?" Instead of reveling in the blessings in my life, I spend more energy thinking about and looking at the things I don't have. What am I trying to do by doing that? What could I possibly gain? The things of this world will one day decay and be destroyed by moths and rust - why do I covet them? Why do I look to find fulfillment in them? Why do I look to be satisfied by them? <br />
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In truth, TRUE satisfaction is something our hearts feel when we've done something according to God's will. If He calls, and we answer, our hearts are satisfied. Our hearts feel full to bursting with the joy of our Lord. What this bumper sticker taught me was that if we really allow ourselves to be His hands and feet; and if we allow ourselves to live out His will for our lives, then we will be satisfied with the most satisfying satisfaction (say that three times fast!). There is no comparable measure on earth to a God-satisfied heart. <br />
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So... if we measure our satisfaction through our God-satisfied heart, we will find that food nor things will ever compare; nor will anything of this world ever satisfy you so fully and wholly. Look to God, and not anywhere else, to find satisfaction. His words taste better than any meal and His kingdom is worth more than any earthly gain. <br />
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<strong>I have seen you in the sanctuary</strong></div>
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<strong>and beheld your power and your glory</strong></div>
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<strong>Because your love is better than life, </strong></div>
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<strong>my lips will glorify you.</strong></div>
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<strong>I will praise you as long as I live,</strong></div>
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<strong>and in your name I will lift up my hands.</strong></div>
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<strong>I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;</strong></div>
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<strong>with singing lips my mouth will praise you. ~Psalm 63:2-5</strong></div>
Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576536353900753917.post-65172494301842402622012-06-25T21:59:00.001-04:002012-06-25T21:59:15.010-04:00Head vs. Heart, Round 1Ahhhhhh *sigh* ... FINALLY a chance to sit and write. I don't like to put writing on the back burner, but life DOES move at the speed of light. School has ended - I officially have a Kindergartner and a SECOND grader...and the baby will be starting preschool in a few short months. Can someone explain this? Please? <br />
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Anyway - I've been thinking a lot about the battle of the head versus the battle of the heart. I think that most of us will use both when making decisions. I know that I can say that I am not usually a "follow your heart" kind of girl...and I'm usually not a "follow your head" kind of girl...I am sure that the circumstance that I face dictates how I react. <br />
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In my devotional time recently, I was reminded of this scripture "love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your mind" Mt. 22:37. I was struck at the fact that we are commanded to first love Him with our heart... and last with our mind. Our hearts are irrational and deceitful, yet it is our hearts that hold the capacity to understand feelings that words cannot express. Our hearts are capable of hate and wickedness and gossip, yet are full of compassion and love and understanding. To say our hearts are complex is an understatement. Our hearts are actually capable of thinking, planning, imagining...all the things a 'mind' can do, a heart can do better. <br />
<br />So then why does our mind butt in? Why does our mind force us to consider every possible outcome? Why do we feel the need to cross every T and dot every I before we even make one small move? There is much to be said about a decision made through the use of logic and deductive reasoning...but is that decision always the right one? What I mean to say is - is that decision always the BEST one? The outcome might be as we predicted, but does that make it 'right?' What if we followed our heart instead? The outcome might be better than our logic can understand. But then again, perhaps its not (<--- that's my head talking!)<br />
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Follow my heart logic here: IF the heart is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23) and (eternal) life is given when you accept Jesus Christ into your heart (Romans 10:9-10), THEN learning to be more faithful frees us to follow our heart and anticipate the outcome will be pleasing to ourself and to Him. I'm not talking religion here, I'm talking faith. The technical definition of faith is trust or belief. If we trust Jesus - in His redemptive power, in His provision, in His sacrifice and forgiveness - then we are free to trust our heart..."You will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:7. <br />
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Father, I thank you for Your will in our lives. I am humbled by Your belief in us and Your provision for us. Please continue to encourage me to follow my heart and the desires that You have placed there...and please do the same for my friends who are looking for the same. Lord, I ask that you place urgency in complacent hearts - urgency for us to further Your kingdom and serve with grace, humility, and love. Let rivers of living water flow from our hearts so that we can bask in Your peace and live the life You have prepared for each of us. ♥<br />
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Until next time...Dina Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03234536959983526040noreply@blogger.com0